February 2022 Parenta Magazine

Teaching children to
value things that matter
Avoid material rewards and
consequences
It can be very easy to fall into the trap of
rewarding children with material items and
to also remove these items because of poor
behaviour.
When I think back to when I was younger,
there was so much less available to us. As
children, we’d choose playing out for hours
over watching TV (because let’s face it, the
4 channels that we had on offer weren’t
very enticing!). We’d make toys out of sticks,
and we’d love nothing more than spending
time with our family as we all sat together
at the table feasting on a traditional Sunday
Roast. Fast forward to today and the world
has changed immensely. In lots of ways, it’s
amazing and has created so many more
opportunities for our children, but I can’t
help but feel that the simplicity of life and
the contentment that comes with that may
be getting lost along the way.
When I cast my mind back 20 years, I
remember walking to a phone box at
the end of the street to ring my friends.
Nobody had a mobile and you had to wait
until someone was actually in their house
before you could contact them on their
landline telephone. We never thought twice
about it and it was the norm that people
weren’t always available to us 24 hours per
day. Looking back, it was a good lesson
in patience and delayed gratification.
However, now we can contact anybody we
want at any time of the day and there is
nothing we can’t access or buy with just the
touch of a button. In fact, most of us are so
attached to our phones and devices that
we go into absolute meltdown if we forget
them. It’s like we’ve left a part of ourselves
behind!
There are so many advantages to the
world as it is today and in many ways
our children are lucky to be born at this
time because the world is so much more
accessible. However, I also feel that due
to social media, advances in technology
and the ability to get anything on your
doorstep 24 hours after you have bought
it through your mobile phone, we run the
risk of our children always getting instant
gratification and of them trying to live up
to a false sense of reality/perfection that
doesn’t exist. I think now more than ever
we need to find ways to teach children how
to value time and attributes over material
things and we also need to find ways to
appreciate the simple things in life.
Here are 5 ways that I feel we can do this:
Practice gratitude
Toys, gadgets and devices are getting
bigger and better every year. They are
great and provide so much entertainment.
However, with all of us waiting for the
next big thing to launch, we run the risk of
always wanting more, rather than taking
the time to appreciate what we already
have.
By taking 5 minutes per day to practice
gratitude with our children it will ground
them and guide them to appreciate the
smaller things in life and to realise that they
already have a lot to be grateful for. Use
this framework to give thanks for all the
simple things in life (for example our eyes,
ears and legs, the clothes on our back, our
family and friends) and watch the smiles
appear on everyone’s faces as they start to
feel a sense of contentment:
‘Thank you for ________ because_______’
Practice generosity
Take time each week to do something nice
for someone else. However, try to focus on
giving time and effort over buying material
things.
Maybe bake buns for your neighbour, draw
a picture for a friend or help someone in
some way. By doing this, children will see
how nice it is to think of others and to give
back.
Spending quality time
together
Put time aside each week to spend time
together. Turn off the TV, put your phones
away and remove any devices.
Be totally present in each other’s company,
play games, interact, talk and just have fun.
Sometimes we get so busy doing different
things and getting lost in technology that
we forget how nice it is to just be together
with no distractions.
However, the message that this gives on a
deeper level isn’t necessarily one that will
benefit them long term. By doing this, we
place more value on ‘things’ and makes
these items more prevalent in their life. It
also teaches children to need or want a
reward for good behaviour, rather than
having an intrinsic desire to do the right
thing.
Spend time in nature
Technology lures children away from the
great outdoors and often they would rather
play games on their tablets, rather than
playing out. There are so many health
benefits mentally and physically to being
outside and surrounded by nature and it’s
important for us to encourage children to
connect with the elements.
Go on a scavenger hunt, walk around the
woods on an imaginary bear hunt, have a
picnic or simply go for a walk and take time
to explore. The more that children love the
great outdoors, the more healthy they will
be and the more likely they are to have a
connection to our planet and be custodians
of it in the future.
At the end of the day, the world is forever
changing and moving forward.
Our children are going to face different
challenges to us and on the flip side, they
are going to experience way more things in
their lifetime than us too.
As wonderful as these technological
advances are in the world, they can take
us further away from our core values and
connection. It is therefore imperative
that we instil practices in our children that
will guide them to stay grounded and to
appreciate the small things in life as well
as enjoying all of the wonders that the
modern world has to offer.
Stacey Kelly
Stacey Kelly is a former French and
Spanish teacher, a parent to 2 beautiful
babies and the founder of Early Years
Story Box. After becoming a mum, Stacey
left her teaching career and started
writing and illustrating storybooks to help
support her children through different
transitional stages like leaving nursery
and starting school. Seeing the positive
impact of her books on her children’s
emotional well-being led to Early Years
Story Box being born. Stacey has now
created 35 storybooks, all inspired by her
own children, to help teach different life
lessons and to prepare children for their
next steps. She has an exclusive collection
for childcare settings that are gifted on
special occasions like first/last days,
birthdays, Christmas and/or Easter and
has recently launched a new collection
for parents too. Her mission is to support
as many children as she can through
story-time and to give childcare settings
an affordable and special gifting solution
that truly makes a difference.
Email: stacey@earlyyearsstorybox.com or
Telephone: 07765785595
Website: www.earlyyearsstorybox.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/
earlyyearsstorybox
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/
eystorybox
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/
earlyyearsstorybox
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/
stacey-kelly-a84534b2/
20 February 2022 | parenta.com
parenta.com | February 2022 21