February 2022 Parenta Magazine

Helping children
understand bipolar
This may seem a strange article to be
reading for an early years publication, but
as professionals, at some point in your
career, it is very likely that you will work
with families where an adult has bipolar
disorder. Around one in fifty people in the
UK have bipolar. According to Bipolar UK,
bipolar is one of the UK’s most common
long-term conditions, with almost as
many people living with bipolar as cancer
(2.4%), it is more than twice as common as
dementia (0.8%), epilepsy (0.8%), autism
(0.8%), rheumatoid arthritis (0.7%) and
learning disabilities (0.5%).
Bipolar is a severe mental health condition,
often distinguished by significant mood
swings from manic highs to severe lows.
For many people with bipolar, they can
manage their condition with medication.
However, when they are having a low or
high episode this does have an impact
on the individual and the whole family.
Sometimes highs can involve people
spending lots of money, going on sudden
unplanned trips, talking lots, not being
able to sleep. Sometimes lows can involve
not being able to get up, unable to work,
unable to cook, clean, shop or look after
another and not wanting to see anyone.
I believe we need to understand bipolar,
what it is and how this can impact a family.
Because of the numbers, we will either
know or have known people with bipolar,
and although mental health is more freely
talked about now, in my experience there
can still be a stigma over a condition
like bipolar or other serious mental
health conditions. It is important that as
professionals we are informed, so that
we can offer support, understanding and
signpost to the families we work with.
Why do we need to tell our
children about bipolar?
At this point I will declare why I think this
is so important, my mum has bipolar. I
am now almost 50, when I was a child, it
was called manic depression, and it was
not talked about. Everyone knew my mum
was ill, they couldn’t hide from it as she
regularly had long stays in hospital, but no
one really talked about it. When I had my
own children, I wanted them to know about
Granny, to understand why sometimes she
was very happy and bought lots of strange
presents and other times she was very
sad and couldn’t leave the house. I didn’t
want my children to be scared about it, but
I wanted them to understand this was an
illness, and what this illness looked like. I
felt it was important to explain and name
the illness to my children.
Children are amazing at knowing when
something is different. Adults often falsely
believe that children have no idea about
things, but they know. Children are not
able to name what is happening but they
know when something is wrong, when
something is changing. The problem is if
we don’t inform children, they will create
their own story of what is happening,
and the story can be worse than what is
actually happening. It is so much better if a
trusted adult can inform a child about what
is going on.
So what can we do?
Firstly, we can find out about bipolar. At the
end of this article are some useful websites
where you can get further information. If
we have a basic understanding this will
help us to be more informed and hopefully
more compassionate.
If someone in a family you are working
with has bipolar, talk to the family about it,
ask them how their health is currently and
whether there are things you need to know
as a setting about what would help them.
If you notice a family are showing signs of
increased stress, don’t be afraid to check in
with them, ask if they are ok, is their health
OK? You may need to signpost or refer
them to additional services, it is useful for
you to have a list of these e.g. health visitor,
GP, early help services.
Have resources to share with the child,
check with the parents first about this, but
have these resources in the setting that you
can share with the child and maybe share
with the family. A list of resources is at the
end.
Recognise that if a parent is having a
bipolar episode this will have an impact
on the child. They may struggle with
transitions, especially the arrival or leaving.
They may be needing more adult attention,
they may be sad or anxious or generally
struggling with or coping with the everyday
life in your setting. Expect the child’s wellbeing
to be lower, they are likely to be have
higher social, emotional and mental health
needs at this time. They need trusted adults
around them in the setting who are calm,
regulated and able to offer the child
a safe, loving, calm space to be
themselves.
Key points
If you are unfamiliar with bipolar, take
a look at some of the links and become
informed.
Don’t be afraid to talk to a family about
bipolar, and ask if there are ways your
setting can support them and their child.
Have resources about bipolar to share with
families.
Resources:
Websites to look at
Mind https://www.mind.org.uk
Bipolar UK https://www.bipolaruk.org
Young minds https://youngminds.org.uk
Heads together https://www.
headstogether.org.uk
Sonia Mainstone-Cotton
Sonia Mainstone-Cotton is a freelance
nurture consultant, she has worked in
early years for 30 years. Sonia currently
works in a specialist team in Bath
supporting 3- and 4-year-olds who have
social, emotional and mental health
needs. Sonia also trains staff across the
country she specialises in supporting
children and staffs emotional wellbeing.
Sonia has written 8 books including:
Supporting children with social, emotional
and mental health needs in the early years
published by Routledge, Supporting young
children through change and everyday
transitions, Promoting Emotional Wellbeing
in Early Years Staff and Promoting
Young Children’s Emotional Health and
Wellbeing. Sonia is also the series advisor
for Little Minds Matter series of books
promoting social and emotional wellbeing
in the early years with Routledge.
Get in contact with Sonia via the below:
Website- http://soniamainstone-cotton.
com
email - sonia.main@icloud.com
instagram - @mainstonecotton
“Mummy’s Got Bipolar” by Sonia Mainstone-Cotton. Published by Jonson - picture book aimed at 3-7-year-olds
“Can I tell you about Bipolar” by Sonia Mainstone-Cotton. Published by Jessica Kingely - publisher’s book aimed
at 7-11-year-olds
“The Illustrated Mum” by Jacqueline Wilson - mum in the story has bipolar- aimed at 7- 11-year-olds
“The Wise Mouse” by Virginia Ironside. Published by Young Minds - mum in the story has a mental illness -
aimed at 7- 11-year-olds
“Mummy’s got bipolar” animation - available on YouTube
24 February 2022 | parenta.com
parenta.com | February 2022 25