The Courage of Children: Boston and Beyond XXXI

Kendall Henriksen
Stefanie Machado, Teacher
Keith Middle School, New Bedford, MA
I have shown courage in my life by respecting myself and learning how to say,
“No.” A year ago, I had to make a choice about what to do with my mother. I
noticed that she stopped being a good person and that troubled me. My mom
would emotionally manipulate me every time I went over to her house and
made me feel guilty for things that were caused by her. For instance, I would
go to my grandparent’s house on the weekends, which happens to be the same
house that my mother was living in, and I was often forced to hang out with
only her. This made things uncomfortable when I wanted to choose to be with
my grandparents instead. My mom would say things like, “Oh, do you just not
like me?” or “They did not even want you here. I invited you, yet all you want
to do is hang out with them.” She would do this to make me feel really bad,
which she accomplished.
One day, I found the courage to tell her that this behavior was wrong. I also
explained to her that her words made me dread going to my grandparents’
house on the weekends. Meanwhile, this was supposed to benefit everyone,
to save our relationship, but it just wasn’t working. She of course put all
the blame on me! I decided to tell my dad about my feelings and what was
happening. He was able to share with me that my sister, with whom I share the
same mother, stopped visiting her for that exact reason. He communicated to
me that if that is how I felt, I would not be forced to go unless it was a family
gathering or event that more people attended so I would not be alone with my
mother. His response made me feel powerful. I finally found the courage to
say, “NO!” when the weekend came. I stayed away for a while and that made
me feel safe. Knowing that I made that choice, made me proud of myself.
“Having courage to
stand up for myself
has left me feeling
safe and happy.”
The guilt trip that she put on me was so desperate on her part. After that
moment, I really saw her for who she really is, and knowing that it may never
change crushed any part of our bond that was left. What I really wanted at
that moment was to cut off my relationship with her permanently. I was at
that point in my life with her.
Things started to unravel when I was actually prohibited from visiting my
grandparents’ house. During this time, so many things happened in that
house that my mother was actually forced to leave and find shelter elsewhere.
I have not seen her since.
Having courage to stand up for myself has left me feeling safe and happy. I
now know that it is all taken care of and it is okay not to want to be around
certain people in your life, even if they are your family. That’s how I showed
courage, and I am proud of myself.
My story of being courageous does not stop here.
When I took a leap and did visit my grandparents’ house after a much
needed break from all of it, my mom was her usual self. She told me, “This
whole thing is wrong, and I am the parent.” After her response, it struck me
that she did not see what I saw. So, I did the most courageous thing, which
took every ounce of energy I had at the moment, and told her that what
she was doing was wrong. Wrong in so many ways and on so many levels.
The Courage of Children: Boston and Beyond
Volume XXXI
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