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Future of Nursing in MI - August 2022

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Page 12 The <strong>Future</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Nurs<strong>in</strong>g</strong> <strong>in</strong> Michigan <strong>August</strong>, September, October <strong>2022</strong><br />

Compar<strong>in</strong>g, Criticiz<strong>in</strong>g and Compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g:<br />

The Detrimental Effects <strong>of</strong> Gossip<br />

By Nicole Cerr<strong>in</strong>i, BSN, RN,<br />

Owner <strong>of</strong> Nicole Cerr<strong>in</strong>i Health<br />

& Wellness<br />

While I was attempt<strong>in</strong>g<br />

to eat my breakfast <strong>in</strong> peace<br />

at work, I found myself<br />

surrounded by others who<br />

were either compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g about<br />

their neighbors, demoraliz<strong>in</strong>g their colleagues or<br />

express<strong>in</strong>g general disda<strong>in</strong> for their life situations.<br />

It was extremely hard to cont<strong>in</strong>ue to listen to all<br />

<strong>of</strong> this, and even harder not to try to redirect their<br />

conversations.<br />

This life is way too short to constantly be<br />

gossip<strong>in</strong>g and welcom<strong>in</strong>g negativity with open<br />

arms. I recently listened to a podcast by Jay<br />

Shetty (On Purpose) and he discusses the three<br />

C’s: Compar<strong>in</strong>g, Criticiz<strong>in</strong>g and Compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g. It is<br />

overwhelm<strong>in</strong>g when you are able to take a step<br />

back and observe yourself from this standpo<strong>in</strong>t.<br />

Even smaller compla<strong>in</strong>ts or “simple” gossip can<br />

largely affect your daily life and how certa<strong>in</strong> th<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

affect you. It’s extremely dra<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g when you are<br />

surrounded by negativity, and once you’re selfaware<br />

<strong>of</strong> this issue, it becomes toxic be<strong>in</strong>g around<br />

those who cont<strong>in</strong>uously put down others or<br />

themselves.<br />

Compar<strong>in</strong>g yourself to others is one <strong>of</strong> the<br />

most common thoughts we have. Whether<br />

you’re compar<strong>in</strong>g life circumstances, weight,<br />

friendships, spouses, etc., it all plays a part <strong>in</strong><br />

how you generally feel about yourself and <strong>in</strong> turn<br />

affects your relationships with others. I am guilty<br />

<strong>of</strong> compar<strong>in</strong>g myself <strong>in</strong> certa<strong>in</strong> situations, but now<br />

that I am aware <strong>of</strong> it, I’m able to not only catch<br />

myself <strong>in</strong> the moment, but also put a positive<br />

sp<strong>in</strong> on it. The next time you observe yourself<br />

compar<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> any way, try to recognize that it’s<br />

simply your way <strong>of</strong> realiz<strong>in</strong>g what you desire and<br />

figur<strong>in</strong>g out what that means for you.<br />

Criticiz<strong>in</strong>g is another huge habit that leads<br />

to general problems with yourself and your<br />

relationships. Whether you are be<strong>in</strong>g critical <strong>of</strong><br />

yourself or others, you <strong>in</strong>still the stigma that<br />

someth<strong>in</strong>g isn’t good enough for you. It’s very<br />

possible that you are likely criticiz<strong>in</strong>g those close<br />

to you and may not even be aware <strong>of</strong> it. Petty<br />

gossip, such as talk<strong>in</strong>g about a family member<br />

beh<strong>in</strong>d their back or judg<strong>in</strong>g the person <strong>in</strong> l<strong>in</strong>e<br />

<strong>in</strong> front <strong>of</strong> you at the grocery store, are both<br />

examples <strong>of</strong> how criticism can creep up <strong>in</strong> your<br />

daily life and put a negative twist on your values.<br />

Once you really beg<strong>in</strong> to see how <strong>of</strong>ten this<br />

happens, it’s <strong>in</strong>credible to feel the shift as you<br />

start to create new habits that steer clear from<br />

judgment.<br />

Compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g is probably one <strong>of</strong> the harder<br />

habits to break when it comes to the three C’s.<br />

There are a few people <strong>in</strong> my life who always seem<br />

to be compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g about someth<strong>in</strong>g/someone at<br />

all times. It’s exhaust<strong>in</strong>g listen<strong>in</strong>g to it, and even<br />

more exhaust<strong>in</strong>g try<strong>in</strong>g to get them to see a<br />

different perspective. If you compare compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g<br />

to the Law <strong>of</strong> Attraction, it makes a lot <strong>of</strong> sense<br />

that the compla<strong>in</strong>ts seem to never end. What you<br />

put out, you always get back! Very few people<br />

can take a step back and realize that they are<br />

the common denom<strong>in</strong>ator <strong>in</strong> their problems.<br />

Every s<strong>in</strong>gle situation can always be viewed <strong>in</strong><br />

a positive light, even if it may seem impossible.<br />

The m<strong>in</strong>ute you decide to replace your compla<strong>in</strong>t<br />

with someth<strong>in</strong>g you're thankful for, you will<br />

immediately feel better and those around you will<br />

notice this shift as well.<br />

It’s not easy to turn the magnify<strong>in</strong>g glass on<br />

yourself and realize the negative habits you have<br />

made your norm. But once you really make an<br />

effort to notice when you're compar<strong>in</strong>g, criticiz<strong>in</strong>g<br />

or compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g, the easier it will become to not<br />

only notice these habits, but to break them. You<br />

are the only one <strong>in</strong> control <strong>of</strong> your life and how<br />

you react to it. No one else can take the wheel for<br />

you and steer you <strong>in</strong> a positive direction. You have<br />

to want it for yourself, but once you do decide<br />

to make this shift, you will be amazed at the<br />

opportunities that open for you.<br />

Michigan Department <strong>of</strong> Corrections<br />

NOW HIRING<br />

REGISTERED NURSES<br />

AND<br />

GRADUATE NURSES!<br />

$5,000 sign on bonus*<br />

$250 retention bonus pilot*<br />

Great pay and Benefits<br />

Opportunities for advancement<br />

13 paid Holidays (14 every other year)<br />

To apply, visit www.michigan.gov/mdocjobs.<br />

*For RN/approved locations only

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