Future of Nursing in MI - August 2022
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Page 12 The <strong>Future</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Nurs<strong>in</strong>g</strong> <strong>in</strong> Michigan <strong>August</strong>, September, October <strong>2022</strong><br />
Compar<strong>in</strong>g, Criticiz<strong>in</strong>g and Compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g:<br />
The Detrimental Effects <strong>of</strong> Gossip<br />
By Nicole Cerr<strong>in</strong>i, BSN, RN,<br />
Owner <strong>of</strong> Nicole Cerr<strong>in</strong>i Health<br />
& Wellness<br />
While I was attempt<strong>in</strong>g<br />
to eat my breakfast <strong>in</strong> peace<br />
at work, I found myself<br />
surrounded by others who<br />
were either compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g about<br />
their neighbors, demoraliz<strong>in</strong>g their colleagues or<br />
express<strong>in</strong>g general disda<strong>in</strong> for their life situations.<br />
It was extremely hard to cont<strong>in</strong>ue to listen to all<br />
<strong>of</strong> this, and even harder not to try to redirect their<br />
conversations.<br />
This life is way too short to constantly be<br />
gossip<strong>in</strong>g and welcom<strong>in</strong>g negativity with open<br />
arms. I recently listened to a podcast by Jay<br />
Shetty (On Purpose) and he discusses the three<br />
C’s: Compar<strong>in</strong>g, Criticiz<strong>in</strong>g and Compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g. It is<br />
overwhelm<strong>in</strong>g when you are able to take a step<br />
back and observe yourself from this standpo<strong>in</strong>t.<br />
Even smaller compla<strong>in</strong>ts or “simple” gossip can<br />
largely affect your daily life and how certa<strong>in</strong> th<strong>in</strong>gs<br />
affect you. It’s extremely dra<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g when you are<br />
surrounded by negativity, and once you’re selfaware<br />
<strong>of</strong> this issue, it becomes toxic be<strong>in</strong>g around<br />
those who cont<strong>in</strong>uously put down others or<br />
themselves.<br />
Compar<strong>in</strong>g yourself to others is one <strong>of</strong> the<br />
most common thoughts we have. Whether<br />
you’re compar<strong>in</strong>g life circumstances, weight,<br />
friendships, spouses, etc., it all plays a part <strong>in</strong><br />
how you generally feel about yourself and <strong>in</strong> turn<br />
affects your relationships with others. I am guilty<br />
<strong>of</strong> compar<strong>in</strong>g myself <strong>in</strong> certa<strong>in</strong> situations, but now<br />
that I am aware <strong>of</strong> it, I’m able to not only catch<br />
myself <strong>in</strong> the moment, but also put a positive<br />
sp<strong>in</strong> on it. The next time you observe yourself<br />
compar<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> any way, try to recognize that it’s<br />
simply your way <strong>of</strong> realiz<strong>in</strong>g what you desire and<br />
figur<strong>in</strong>g out what that means for you.<br />
Criticiz<strong>in</strong>g is another huge habit that leads<br />
to general problems with yourself and your<br />
relationships. Whether you are be<strong>in</strong>g critical <strong>of</strong><br />
yourself or others, you <strong>in</strong>still the stigma that<br />
someth<strong>in</strong>g isn’t good enough for you. It’s very<br />
possible that you are likely criticiz<strong>in</strong>g those close<br />
to you and may not even be aware <strong>of</strong> it. Petty<br />
gossip, such as talk<strong>in</strong>g about a family member<br />
beh<strong>in</strong>d their back or judg<strong>in</strong>g the person <strong>in</strong> l<strong>in</strong>e<br />
<strong>in</strong> front <strong>of</strong> you at the grocery store, are both<br />
examples <strong>of</strong> how criticism can creep up <strong>in</strong> your<br />
daily life and put a negative twist on your values.<br />
Once you really beg<strong>in</strong> to see how <strong>of</strong>ten this<br />
happens, it’s <strong>in</strong>credible to feel the shift as you<br />
start to create new habits that steer clear from<br />
judgment.<br />
Compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g is probably one <strong>of</strong> the harder<br />
habits to break when it comes to the three C’s.<br />
There are a few people <strong>in</strong> my life who always seem<br />
to be compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g about someth<strong>in</strong>g/someone at<br />
all times. It’s exhaust<strong>in</strong>g listen<strong>in</strong>g to it, and even<br />
more exhaust<strong>in</strong>g try<strong>in</strong>g to get them to see a<br />
different perspective. If you compare compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g<br />
to the Law <strong>of</strong> Attraction, it makes a lot <strong>of</strong> sense<br />
that the compla<strong>in</strong>ts seem to never end. What you<br />
put out, you always get back! Very few people<br />
can take a step back and realize that they are<br />
the common denom<strong>in</strong>ator <strong>in</strong> their problems.<br />
Every s<strong>in</strong>gle situation can always be viewed <strong>in</strong><br />
a positive light, even if it may seem impossible.<br />
The m<strong>in</strong>ute you decide to replace your compla<strong>in</strong>t<br />
with someth<strong>in</strong>g you're thankful for, you will<br />
immediately feel better and those around you will<br />
notice this shift as well.<br />
It’s not easy to turn the magnify<strong>in</strong>g glass on<br />
yourself and realize the negative habits you have<br />
made your norm. But once you really make an<br />
effort to notice when you're compar<strong>in</strong>g, criticiz<strong>in</strong>g<br />
or compla<strong>in</strong><strong>in</strong>g, the easier it will become to not<br />
only notice these habits, but to break them. You<br />
are the only one <strong>in</strong> control <strong>of</strong> your life and how<br />
you react to it. No one else can take the wheel for<br />
you and steer you <strong>in</strong> a positive direction. You have<br />
to want it for yourself, but once you do decide<br />
to make this shift, you will be amazed at the<br />
opportunities that open for you.<br />
Michigan Department <strong>of</strong> Corrections<br />
NOW HIRING<br />
REGISTERED NURSES<br />
AND<br />
GRADUATE NURSES!<br />
$5,000 sign on bonus*<br />
$250 retention bonus pilot*<br />
Great pay and Benefits<br />
Opportunities for advancement<br />
13 paid Holidays (14 every other year)<br />
To apply, visit www.michigan.gov/mdocjobs.<br />
*For RN/approved locations only