Shadow and Bone

“Hmmph,” he grumbled noncommittally, his breath already
returning to the deep, even rhythm of sleep.
“Mal,” I said clearly, “if we don’t make it … if they catch
up to us before we find the stag, you can’t let him take me.”
He went perfectly still. I could actually feel his heart
beating. He was quiet for so long that I began to think he’d
fallen back asleep.
Then he said, “You can’t ask that of me.”
“I have to.”
He sat up, pushing away from me, rubbing a hand over his
face. I sat up too, drawing the furs tighter around my
shoulders, watching him in the moonlight.
“No.”
“You can’t just say no, Mal.”
“You asked, I answered. No.”
He stood up and walked a few steps away.
“If he puts that collar on me, you know what it will mean,
how many people will die because of me. I can’t let that
happen. I can’t be responsible for that.”
“No.”
“You had to know this was a possibility when we headed
north, Mal.”
He turned and strode back, dropping into a crouch in front
of me so that he could look into my eyes.
“I won’t kill you, Alina.”
“You may have to.”
“No,” he repeated, shaking his head, looking away from me.
“No, no, no.”
I took his face in my cold hands, turning his head until he
had to meet my gaze.
“Yes.”
“I can’t, Alina. I can’t.”