Island Parent Pre-Summer 2023

Conversations On Substance Use
How to keep your conversation age-appropriate
Middle School: Ages 9–12 years
Traits: Independent, Vulnerable, Emotional, Self-absorbed, Inquisitive
Tweens are engaging and interesting. This is a time when they may feel
torn between the safety and security of family and the excitement of being
with friends. Some kids may be more vulnerable to substance use and
other negative behaviours. They may start to spend more time engaged
in social media and other technology. They may become very “body conscious”
and they might experience peer pressure, low self-esteem and
a “roller coaster” of emotions. As parents, what we say and how we say
it will have an impact on their thinking, decision-making, risk taking and
choices.
Tips that may help you connect with your tween about substance use:
• Tone is everything. Think discussion, not lecture. Ask them calmly
what they know about drugs and what they see most often in their school
and community, and actively listen to what they say.
• Focus on smoking, alcohol, and cannabis, as these are most often the
first substances tweens try. “What do they know?” “Where do they get
their information?” “How would they know if it is reliable?”
• Communicate that you are concerned about substance use and be
honest if you do not know all of the information. “To tell you the truth,
I’m not completely up to date on all of the harmful substances out there.
Maybe we can learn more together.” Research “unknowns” or misconceptions
about drugs together.
• Be aware of the impact on your own actions—your tween is watching
you.
Other suggestions:
• Get to know your tween’s friends. Invite them to your home. Engage
with the parents. Establish clear, realistic and attainable rules and consequences.
• Agree on the rules as a family. Follow through if they slip up. Consistency
is important, especially when establishing safe rules around
substance use.
• Celebrate good choices. Be genuine with your praise.
• Find healthy activities to do together as a family.
• Be aware of the impact on your own actions—your tween is watching
you.
High School: Ages 13–18
Traits: Social, Emotional, Defiant, Passionate, Independent
This pivotal age is one of the most exciting and maybe even challenging
for parents. Teenagers are developing their own individuality, ideals and
dreams. They may be passionate about a cause, an educational endeavour,
a sport or anything else that interests them.
Suggestions for talking with your teens about drug use:
• Pick a time when you’re doing something together to bring up substance
use. Respect any refusal to talk calmly and let them know you’re
ready when they are. “Well, when you want to talk to me, I’m here.”
• Keep your cool, and don’t use fear tactics. Encourage mutual respect
and honesty in your conversations by discussing, not lecturing. You listen—they
listen.
• Alcohol, nicotine and cannabis are the most widely consumed substances
by teens, and the popularity of vaping has increased. Spend extra
time discussing these substances. “What are their opinions about using
these substances?” “Why do they feel this way?”
• Get to know their friends and express any concerns in a non-judgemental
way.
• Remind them of the importance of not taking any medication that is
not prescribed to them and discuss opioids such as fentanyl and oxycodone.
Talk with them about tainted street drugs that cause death, even
the first time.
• Establish code words with them for any “I need help” or “Come and
get me” situations that may save them from harmful conditions or negative
peer responses.
Other suggestions:
• Get to know your teen’s passions and interests. Do something together
to promote positive choices.
• Get to know their friends. Notice if the group of friends suddenly
changes and talk to your teen about why this happened.
• Set up a volunteer experience for your teen—something they can
do with you, their friends or a trusted adult. Consider helping at a soup
kitchen, mission or neighbourhood community service centre.
• Talk about the experience with them.
• Work with your kids to help them develop strategies to use or things
they can say to help them get out of uncomfortable or potentially harmful
situations that might involve drugs and alcohol with their peers.
Drug Free Kids Canada is building a movement that encourages and
supports parents to prevent and reduce the harms of problematic drug
use by youth. For more information visit drugfreekidscanada.org.
38 Island Parent Magazine IslandParent.ca