The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck

Second, once we create meaning for ourselves, our brains are designed to
hold on to that meaning. We are biased toward the meaning our mind has
made, and we don’t want to let go of it. Even if we see evidence that
contradicts the meaning we created, we often ignore it and keep on believing
anyway.
The comedian Emo Philips once said, “I used to think the human brain
was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling
me this.” The unfortunate fact is, most of what we come to “know” and
believe is the product of the innate inaccuracies and biases present in our
brains. Many or even most of our values are products of events that are not
representative of the world at large, or are the result of a totally misconceived
past.
The result of all this? Most of our beliefs are wrong. Or, to be more exact,
all beliefs are wrong—some are just less wrong than others. The human mind
is a jumble of inaccuracy. And while this may make you uncomfortable, it’s
an incredibly important concept to accept, as we’ll see.
Be Careful What You Believe
In 1988, while in therapy, the journalist and feminist author Meredith Maran
came to a startling realization: her father had sexually abused her as a child. It
was a shock to her, a repressed memory she had spent most of her adult life
oblivious to. But at the age of thirty-seven, she confronted her father and also
told her family what had happened.
Meredith’s news horrified her entire family. Her father immediately
denied having done anything. Some family members sided with Meredith.
Others sided with her father. The family tree was split in two. And the pain
that had defined Meredith’s relationship with her father since long before her
accusation now spread like a mold across its branches. It tore everyone apart.
Then, in 1996, Meredith came to another startling realization: her father
actually hadn’t sexually abused her. (I know: oops.) She, with the help of a
well-intentioned therapist, had actually invented the memory. Consumed by
guilt, she spent the rest of her father’s life attempting to reconcile with him
and other family members through constant apologizing and explaining. But
it was too late. Her father passed away and her family would never be the
same.