Windward Review Vol. 20 (2022): Beginnings and Endings

…
It was my first dance, and my first date. Dean—the boy I’d had
a crush on since I was nine years old, was my homecoming date…
We waltzed into the venue, where strobe lights blinded our eyes,
and country music rang. He interlocked with my hand, and I tried to
keep up with his long strides with my small heels, as we walked to
the table where his friends were at. “Sup guys, this is Dawn,” Dean
said to his friends. They all perceived the same energy—outgoing,
loud, sweet, fun. I dropped my purse on the table, as all of us stepped on the dance
floor with the rest of the sweaty student body. Dean was tall, and many of his girlfriends
seemed somewhat jealous of me. He was a varsity wrestling captain, and I felt proud that
he was mine… He was very loud and excited. As we danced on the floor, he grabbed my
hips and got behind me as I was nervous to grind. It was something every single student
did at dances, so I didn’t make it much of a deal. It was fun—he kissed me on the cheek
multiple times, as I prepared for him to kiss me, while Eleanor’s voice ran through my
head.
“Don’t be surprised if Dean kisses you tonight…”
The music transitioned from Lil Jon to Thompson Square, and Dean’s eyes gleamed
into mine, “I’m so happy you’re with me tonight,” he said.
“Are you gonna kiss me or not?” Keifer’s voice rang through the speakers.
And just like that, my first kiss happened with the boy I crushed on for six years—
my karate kid—Dean.
The excitement of first kisses overwhelmed our emotions as I told Eleanor what
happened homecoming night with Dean, and she told me what happened on her and
Noah’s recent movie night
“Ahhhhh, oh my goshhhh, I knew it was gonna happen,” she said. I blushed hard.
“Just don’t go any further, please, you’re my little sister.” Her facial expression was a
funny crying face as she was joking but was trying to give me solid advice. I laughed and
was happy to have her around again…
October
Another danced rolled by, and this time we waltzed to tunes in the Veterans
Memorial High School cafeteria. This time he met my friends, and sometimes it felt like
he knew more people from my own school than I did. We wore blue and took photos in a
Photo Booth where our strips read “written in the stars.” He truly felt like my moon, and
I was his stars…. Once again, we had my parents take us to Whataburger, and sometimes
when I visit the one on Cimarron, I still picture us sitting in the cold booth, where his
hands grasped mine, and the dazzling eyes of a fifteen-year-old boy locked into mine.
Three words. “I love you.”
Come Sunday night, we waltzed into the church gym, as we played music on the aux,
and Eleanor and I watched our crushes play basketball, like every Sunday. Their athletic
physiques sprinted across court, Noah made smooth yet funny expressions towards
Eleanor, and Dean was afraid because I wasn’t sure if I loved him yet. I knew I did, but I
was only fifteen—and I loved him so much. It was terrifying.
Winter
On December 13th, the church goers paraded across town for our
annual Christmas parade and festival. Noah and Dean both waltzed along
with Eleanor and I, just like they did six years before that. It was like deja
vu, and I asked God why they suddenly came back into our lives, and
Beginnings X Endings
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