Issue 1 | 2024

DFS told us the Bower children would
be with us through the fall, so we headed
out for back-to-school shopping. Soon we
were adjusting to yet another routine. As
fall turned to winter, we were blessed to
host the Bower children for the holidays.
It was heartwarming to witness the
wide-eyed excitement of the children as
their tiny hands helped us decorate for
Christmas. When we opened a box containing
our nativity scene, I shared the
season’s real meaning.
“Do you all know what Christmas is
about?” I asked.
“Santa brings us toys!” was the unanimous
response.
“That’s one way we celebrate,” I agreed,
“but it’s not the real reason. Christmas is
when we celebrate Jesus’s birthday. He’s
God’s Son. He’s the best gift of love we
could ever receive.”
The children examined the ceramic
nativity pieces curiously. Hannah held
up baby Jesus and gazed at Him intently
as if she could see something special.
Help them to know You, Lord, I prayed as I
watched them. Help their mother too. You
are their only hope.
The Bower children had been with us
for several months when DFS began approving
visits with their mother, Karen.
I noticed a difference in the children
even after short visits. The two older kids
seemed fine, but the younger ones always
returned withdrawn. Ahead of every visit
with her mom, Hannah acted clingy and
nervous. She pleaded with me not to make
her go. It bothered me to see her so upset,
but all I could do was share my observations
with DFS.
Karen was providing a safe environment
for the visitation, and there weren’t
any visible signs of abuse, so the visits
continued. Soon it came time for the first
unsupervised overnight visit. I wasn’t surprised,
but I did go into worry overload,
especially for Hannah.
I prayed continuously during that first
visit, asking God to protect them. When I
saw headlights in the driveway, I ran for
the door. Relief came over me as the children
filed in.
Hannah beelined toward me, clutching
a new doll. With a serious face, she told me
she had fallen while bathing. “That’s how
I hurt myself.” Her forehead and left eye
were black and blue. “Mommy bought me
this doll because I was so brave.”
The following day, I reported the incident
to the caseworker. I wanted to believe
that it was an accident, but I was skeptical.
There were no other injuries after that,
but talking with Karen soon revealed a
hidden resentment toward her child. One
day, I got bold and asked Karen if she even
wanted to raise Hannah. She assured me
she did, and that’s where we left it.
Ten months later, DFS called, notifying
us that a judge had ordered all five of the
Bower children to be returned to their
mother. There would be no gradual transition,
which was unusual. I was to take
them to her that day.
Somehow I gathered the strength to do
the impossible. We finished dinner, then I
I teetered between
sorrow and rage,
questioning
God, demanding
answers on how
He could let such
a tragedy happen.
At the same time, I
leaned on Him for
strength. I was so
confused.
steadied my voice and made the announcement.
“Your caseworker called with some
news. You’re all going home today.”
After dinner, I loaded the car with their
belongings and drove to Karen’s house.
Hannah’s cries got louder the closer we
got. Through her wails, she begged to stay
with me. I was helpless. For a split second,
my emotions overrode my sanity. I thought
of taking Hannah and running away. Then
reason returned, and I knew my hands
were tied.
My only choice was to surrender her to
God and give her back to her mother. Before
I left Hannah, I reminded her to pray. “Call
on Jesus. He will never leave you,” I whispered.
Our eyes met as I hugged and kissed
her goodbye. I sobbed all the way home.
For a while, I stayed in contact with
the family. I made excuses to visit, taking
meals and gifts over in hopes of seeing
Hannah—only she was never there. Every
time, Karen told me she was at a friend’s or
with her father or somewhere else. Eventually,
she told me that Hannah had gone
to live with a relative for a while.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that something
was wrong. So many times, I prayed.
I don’t know what to believe, Lord. I have to
trust that Your hand is on Hannah. Please be
with this family.
But God made Himself clear. The door
was closed. It was time to let go.
Several months later, I was surprised
by a call from a new DFS caseworker. She
inquired if I knew how to contact the relatives
of the Bower children. Karen was
in jail and on her way to prison. DFS was
trying to locate two of her children to place
them in foster care. They were missing.
Before the caseworker could say their
names, my heart shattered. She confirmed
it was Hannah and her younger brother.
That same day, the caseworker filed
missing persons reports for both children.
Four days later, she called again. DFS had
located Hannah’s brother with a relative.
Then she told me that they had also found
Hannah. I braced myself for the worst, but
I wasn’t prepared.
“The police discovered Hannah’s decomposing
remains in the garage at the
22 Issue 01 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM