Issue 1 | 2024

Misery doesn’t
feel good. But
if we process
and journey
through the
pain with God,
it can benefit us.
hadn’t cheated. I wasn’t the one breaking
up our family. I wanted the mistress
dead and my husband to suffer. They had
purposely hurt me and my children. I was
convinced that the blood of Jesus and His
forgiveness should not reach them. They
needed to pay!
My hatred often led me to drive in my
van for hours, looking for them. I fully intended
to harm my husband and kill his
With God’s help and the support of her two sons,
Stephanie overcame great hardship, and now
she helps others do the same.
Pictured here with her sons after receiving her
associate degree at Christian Life School
of Theology Global. Stephanie continued her
education and received her doctorate degree.
mistress. God wasn’t moving fast enough
for me. I would fix this situation myself.
The pain was unbearable and clouding
my judgment. God’s grace kept me from
finding them, or I would be serving a life
sentence right now.
With time, God helped me forgive both
of them from my heart (Matthew 18:35).
And when I released my husband and his
mistress from the debt I felt they owed
me, God’s forgiveness released me. Jesus
opened the door of my prison and set
me free.
Today, on the other side of the pain, I
know that, but for this journey of suffering,
I never would have come to know God in
the deep and intimate way I do now. God
revealed Himself to me as father, husband,
and friend. He was everything and
everyone I needed. He still is. My painful
divorce led me to know the One who loves
me perfectly.
Through all the depression, suicidal and
murderous thoughts, feelings of failure,
and deep sadness, I learned to trust God’s
unconditional and never-ending love.
Through it all, despite my accusations
otherwise, He repeatedly proved that He
is a loving Father who jumps into our mess
and helps us. I saw tangible expressions of
my heavenly Father’s love and understood
this important truth: I am His beloved.
My love remains strong despite the pain
my husband caused our family. And even
after all these years, I’m still standing and
trusting God.
Being a single mom and divorcee wasn’t
my dream, but as we all know, life is filled
with unpleasant surprises. I’m sure you
can name many painful experiences that
have felt like nightmares for you.
I want to encourage you to forgive those
who’ve wronged you. Give your anger to
God and let go. Don’t become a prisoner
to hatred and bitterness.
While you’re being honest with God, let
go of your anger toward Him too. Give Him
a chance to work in and through you. He
will make all things beautiful in His time
(Ecclesiastes 3:11).
I wish I could say that forgiveness erases
or explains a person’s harmful action
toward you. It doesn’t. Nor does it make
it right. But it will set you free and make
you right. Forgiveness will give you a new
life with the Beloved. I am living proof.
STEPHANIE M. CARTER is an author and
the host of her podcast Reveal. Her heart is to
help hurting and broken women learn who they
are in Christ. To learn more, visit her websites
at revealedgrace.com and stephaniemcarter.com.
PHOTO BY ANNE SAY PHOTOGRAPHY
32 Issue 01 / 2024 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM