Onafhankelijk magazine van Tilburg University

22. International
text Sonia Kolasinska
Univers
22 maart 2012
Tighten your belt,
apply for a Master
The Dutch government is cutting firmly
in higher education budgets. In
other words: students receive smaller
student grants. Research by the Studentenbureau
has shown that approximately
three quarters of all Dutch
students doubt whether they’ll do a
Master program for this reason.
Are you one of the students who are seriously considering
surrendering with a bachelor diploma in your
hand? Or moving to Scandinavia? If you live away
from home, you receive about €260 a month. We
know how pleasant it is to have this amount magically
appear on your bank account, and we know it won’t be easy
without it. But don’t let the government discourage you from
pursuing your education! We’ll give you tips on how to earn that
money back. If you follow the guidelines correctly, you become
independent of any governmental support.
Go to the supermarket’s fruit stand and find grapes. Put one
grape in a plastic bag and drop it on the scale. It is not sensitive
enough to detect your purchase, so it will print a sticker with 0
grams (and €0). Do the same with another single grape. Repeat
the procedure for about fifty times and you’ve got yourself a free
lunch. Tip: it also works with peanuts and cherry tomatoes.
Saves up to €60 per month (depending on how patient the shop
assistant is)
If you have a younger sibling, play “toss a coin” with them. The
key to your success is setting this simple rule: “If it’s heads, I win.
But if its tails, you lose”. Remember to set a monetary prize for
each victory.
Saves up to €10 per month (depending on how patient your
sibling is. Or how much pocket money your parents can afford).
If you are a younger sibling, say to your older brother/sister: “I
bet you that I can keep two coins on my closed eyelids for 10
minutes without dropping them. If I manage,
I can keep the coins.” When they agree
in hope of some entertainment at your
expense, put the coins on your eyelids
and keep them there for 10 minutes. Or
for 30 minutes, until they get bored. Or for a
few seconds just to mislead them, and run.
You’re younger and fitter, so they most
probably won’t bother to chase you.
Saves up to €20 per month (depending
on how fit your sibling is. Or how bored.)
Unfortunately, you’ll have to tighten your
belt. Do it as tight as you can, so it is
impossible for any feeling of hunger to
surpass the pain in your lower belly.
Saves €70 per month
Camp outside the supermarket and
wait for an elderly woman to come out
with heavy grocery bags. Offer to help
carrying them to her bike. If she kindly
refuses your offer, take the bags anyway.
If you’re lucky, she won’t call the police.
If you’re luckier, she will pay you for your
kindness.
Saves €25 per month (depending on
how many single grapes the woman has
to carry)
In the middle of the day when the traffic
is heavy, stand next to the road with a
bucket filled with soap and water. When
a car stops for the red light, approach
and take action. If a driver shakes his
head indicating that he doesn’t want
his windshield to be washed, pretend
that you haven’t noticed (the sunlight’s
reflection blinded you). If he turns on the
wipers in a more explicit disapproval of
your service, make more effort and wash
the windshield in between the moving
wipers. Before the light turns green, he
will be so impressed that he will just have
to pay you.
Saves up to €30 per month (depending
on how long the red light is on).
During a lecture allow your eyes to become
misty and stare into the distance.
When someone says: “I’ll give a penny
for your thoughts”, take it literally. Tip:
your girlfriend asks what you are thinking
about quite often, doesn’t she?
Saves up to €45 (depending on how
thoughtful you are).
Note: it was not our intention to show
you easy ways of making a living, so
that you can stop studying anyway.
The editorial office will not be held
responsible for the decrease in the
number of students, nor for the increase
of the number of part-time
windshield wipers in Tilburg.