Leseprobe: Zehnder/Senn: How to Meet, Host & Dress

This book was originally published in German:
Barbara Zehnder/Daniel Senn: Meeting, Dining, Dress Codes. Erfolgreich
und stilsicher auf jedem Parkett. Versus Verlag Zürich, 2. Auflage 2020,
ISBN 978-3-03909-293-2
Translation: Danielle Adams-Hausheer and John Christian, ZHAW
School of Management and Law, Translation and Editing Service (TES),
ZHAW Zurich University of Applied Sciences, Winterthur
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Content5
Content
Foreword . ............................................................. 7
Introduction ........................................................... 9
HOW TO MEET
1 Etiquette ........................................................... 13
1.1 Greeting others ................................................ 13
1.2 Forms of address ............................................... 22
1.3 First name or last name: Which name to use ....................... 31
1.4 Introductions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
1.5 Business cards ................................................ 34
1.6 Phone conversations and mobile phone use ....................... 35
1.7 Door etiquette and escorting guests and visitors ................... 37
1.8 Seating guests of honour ....................................... 39
1.9 How to respond to poor manners ................................ 42
2 Remote Work and Digital Etiquette ................................... 45
2.1 Remote working – the new normal ............................... 45
2.2 Digital etiquette ................................................ 46
3 Conversation and Small Talk ......................................... 48
HOW TO HOST
. 4 You Are a Guest .................................................... 55
4.1 Written invitations and the small print ............................ 55
4.2 Presents for hosts .............................................. 58
4.3 Saying farewell and thanking the host ............................ 60
4.4 Tipping ........................................................ 61
5 Table Manners ...................................................... 64
5.1 Health issues and special diets .................................. 65
5.2 Posture when eating ........................................... 66
5.3 Cutlery, glasses, and napkins .................................... 67
5.4 Eating and drinking ............................................. 69
6 Speeches and Toasts ................................................ 73
6.1 Who speaks when? ............................................ 73
6.2 In what order are guests addressed? ............................. 74
6.3 What should I say? ............................................. 75
6.4 How should I look? ............................................. 76
7 You as Host or Organiser ............................................. 77
7.1 Planning, organising, and hosting an event ........................ 77
7.2 Event formats .................................................. 83
7.3 Menu and beverage selection ................................... 88

7.4 Sustainable events ............................................. 98
7.5 Invitations .................................................... 100
7.6 Seating arrangements ......................................... 103
7.7 Table culture ................................................. 109
7.8 Your role as the host ........................................... 119
7.9 Pitfalls and mishaps – what to look out for ....................... 122
8 Professional Tips From Cooks and Caterers ........................... 123
8.1 Information in recipes ......................................... 123
8.2 Cooking and baking ingredients ................................. 125
8.3 Kitchen knives ................................................ 127
8.4 Food hygiene and hazard analysis ............................... 128
9 Wine, Beer, Spirits, and Low-/Non-Alcoholic Drinks ................... 131
9.1 Wine ........................................................ 131
9.2 Beer ......................................................... 144
9.3 Spirits ....................................................... 146
9.4 NOLO beverages .............................................. 151
9.5 Vegetarian and vegan alcoholic beverages ....................... 153
HOW TO DRESS
10 Event Dress Codes – From Casual to White Tie . ........................ 157
11 Dress Codes in Business . ........................................... 171
12 The Language of Dress .............................................. 177
12.1 First impressions – instantaneous and decisive ................... 178
12.2 Impression management and the language of dress .............. 181
12.3 Potentially misleading signals .................................. 183
12.4 Delicate issues ............................................... 185
APPENDIX
Checklists ............................................................ 188
Calculation Lists ...................................................... 198
References, Sources, and Recommended Reading ........................ 209
Index ............................................................... 217
A Word from the Authors ................................................ 221
International Courtesy Competence Ltd ................................. 222
The Authors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 224
6 Content

Foreword7
Foreword
The book “How to Meet, Host & Dress” is about etiquette. Now why
would etiquette still matter in a society in which “anything goes”?
Because it makes people comfortable and at ease, it shows that they are
valued and respected. It is the sense of “savoir-vivre and savoir-être”.
Etiquette is about behavior, choices, and actions. It is a universal
language that improves interactions in inter-state relations, business,
and private contacts.
The importance of etiquette is particularly evident in an international,
multicultural environment. Far from being old-fashioned, etiquette is a
shared code of respect, an attitude, and a lifelong skill one acquires. It
helps people avoid embarrassing situations, particularly in environments
they are not familiar with.
An embarrassing situation for an individual is one thing, an
embarrassing situation for a state quite another. When state
representatives are being received on official visit by another state, it is
essential to respect the protocol – a set of rules on how states and their
representatives must behave – but it is as essential that its representatives
show proof of etiquette knowledge as well. In fact, protocol and
etiquette go hand in hand. Even more, etiquette is no less than an
integral part of protocol. The invited state guest and the accompanying
delegation have to be treated with due respect and dignity. Only then
can interactions and negotiations be successful, which in turn deepens
and strengthens relations.
Dress codes matter, be it in the business world or in the political
sphere. With the increasing importance of social media, everyone has
to be much more thoughtful of how he or she dresses and appears. A
picture tells more than a thousand words. The power of your appearance
should not be underestimated. Whether we like it or not, there is always
a message attached to the way we dress.
The book of Barbara Zehnder and Daniel Senn takes up the topic of
dress codes among a variety of other important aspects of etiquette.
The two authors have put their long international experience and rich
knowledge into a concise, practice-oriented volume.

It is a reference book that should not only figure in every diplomat’s
library. Everyone who is interested in successfully managing important
official and formal situations can benefit from the profound knowledge
it contains.
This reading will facilitate your daily life – promised!
Beatrice Schaer
Ambassador, Head of Protocol from 2019 to 2023
Swiss Federal Department of Foreign Affairs
For the international success of a company, every new market entry
depends on thorough preparation and a deep understanding of the
culture and local customs. Global business is most profitable when
effective business practices go hand in hand with business relationships
founded on mutual trust and respect and when a company invests
equally in both areas.
What is true in the diplomatic world is just as relevant in the
corporate world. With ever-increasing global interdependencies, a
sound understanding of international etiquette and local codes of
conduct has never been more important. In the future, companies will
be measured not only by their balance sheets but also by how they, and
their employees, conduct themselves. Clear, universally recognised
rules of behaviour can provide valuable guidelines. Applied throughout
a company, they ensure a confident presence both in domestic and
international markets and help establish and maintain stable, mutually
beneficial business relationships.
Barbara Zehnder and Daniel Senn’s book contains an excellent set
of guidelines and offers valuable tips and sound advice for
businesspeople. Their recommendations are easy to apply and explain
how to deal with business partners, local organizations, and government
representatives all over the world – ensuring that you always present
yourself in the best possible light.
Thomas Först
Head of Export Promotion & Global Network
Member of the Executive Committee
Switzerland Global Enterprise
www.s-ge.com
8 Foreword

Introduction9
Introduction
Feeling confident and making a good impression when invited to a
business dinner or hosting your own event is easier if you know the
rules of the game.
This handbook is for anyone working in a national or international
context – business professionals; diplomats and parliamentarians;
representatives of international organisations, development agencies,
and non-governmental organisations; people working in tourism and
culture promotion; security operatives; members of commercial and
sports delegations; and many others.
Dependable information and background knowledge, combined
with numerous tips, tricks, and critical insights, will help you to stay
relaxed, anticipate the unexpected, and avoid embarrassing mishaps.
Find answers to questions such as:
Should I use formal titles in greetings?
How do I make small talk?
How can I manage the over-talkative guest without offending them?
How should I behave at the dining table?
What is required when hosting a formal business event?
What pitfalls and mishaps should I be prepared for?
How do I respond to a toast?
Am I overdressed or underdressed for a particular event?
Am I sending unintended signals through my choice of clothes?
The recommendations in this book will help you in the international
arena. However, they need to be applied with a degree of flexibility.
Politeness or formality is not understood in the same way everywhere.
Direct eye contact, for example, is perceived as disrespectful in Asian
countries. In Western countries, however, it is usually perceived as an
expression of self-confidence and a sign of trustworthiness. Enquire
about local customs whenever you are a guest in another country;
showing interest will be seen as a mark of respect to your hosts.
Knowledge of international etiquette and openness towards other
cultures are power skills that open many doors.
Meeting & greeting, wining & dining, dress codes & styling: We
have become experts in these areas through our professions and our
activities on the diplomatic stage. Taken together, we have lived on six
continents in 17 different countries. In 2014, we founded International
Courtesy Competence. Valuable feedback in international workshops

and seminars, as well as on the German-language editions of our book,
inspired us to write an English version. Here, we share our expertise,
personal insights, and accumulated experience.
We want to thank our partners, Christian Schoenenberger and
Philippe Bärtschi, for their unwavering and unconditional support of
our book project, especially Christian for his meticulous proofreading.
Danielle Adams and John Christian have translated our book, and our
thanks go to them. Thank you also to Anne Buechi, Judith Henzmann,
and Anja Lanz from Versus Publishing. Livia Eichenberger’s photos
are artful, as is the cover image by Anna-Sofia Schoenenberger. We are
grateful to Beatrice Schaer and Thomas Först, both international
professionals, for their forewords. Without these contributions, this
English-language edition would never have come into being. Thank
you one and all.
Berne and Rome, September 2023 Barbara Zehnder and Daniel Senn
How to Use This Book
You can read this book as you would a travel guide. Specific information
can be accessed quickly and easily. Individual sections can be read in
isolation and in any order.
If you would like to know more, you will find additional information in
the text boxes marked with the following symbols:
Historical background
Further information and details
Around the world
Practical advice
Stories
Metric / US customary measurement systems
Throughout this book you will find measurements in both the metric
and the US customary measurement systems. For the difference
between the proof system and alcohol by volume (ABV), see page 136.
As a reader of this book, you can access bonus material
on the International Courtesy Competence website.
Read the QR code for more information:
Website: www.courtesycompetence.com
Username: contact@courtesycompetence.com
Password: MeHoDre-ICC3005
10 Introduction

HOW
TO MEET

Whether we are at our first job interview, receiving customers, or
travelling abroad on business, we want to make a good impression. We
want to succeed, and we know that our appearance plays an important
role. How do I introduce myself? Do I stand up to greet the others or do
I remain seated? How do I greet a foreign guest? How do I strike up a
conversation with a taciturn customer in an elevator or get down to
business with someone dominating the conversation at a working
lunch?
In our everyday environment, we do not usually give much thought
to how or in what order we greet others. This changes when we are
confronted with an unfamiliar situation, especially in a professional
context.
International business etiquette requires us to master various skills,
including the ability to correctly greet others, make small talk, introduce
ourselves correctly, give precedence to others where needed, handle
business cards, write emails, behave appropriately online, and manage
the dos and don’ts of dealing with customers from all over the world.
If you are familiar with these conventions, you will feel more confident.
Knowing how to act in any situation is not a guarantee for success, but
it should in no way be underestimated. What we can guarantee is that
with increasing routine, you will gain that ease in dealing with people
that opens a great many doors.
In this chapter, you will find detailed rules of international business
etiquette on meeting and greeting others. The additional notes in the
text boxes are useful if you are interested in background information.
12 HOW TO MEET

1.5 Business cards
Business cards are an essential means of communication. They are
exchanged at the first (professional) meeting, usually at the beginning
of the conversation, sometimes at the conclusion. Offer your business
card to the highest-ranking person first. However, you should not ask a
higher-ranking person for their business card.
The way you handle business cards (carefully – or negligently)
reflects on you. Make sure that …
your business card is clean, unwrinkled, and up-to-date;
you do not pull your business card out of your back pocket;
you hand your business card to the other person (rather than simply
pushing it across the table);
you hand over the card with the writing facing up, so it is easily
readable by the other person; and
you make eye contact with the other person while doing this.
It is considered rude to write on someone’s business card in their
presence. This is only acceptable with your own business card (e. g.,
writing down an additional phone number before handing it over).
It is customary at a meeting to place the business cards you have
received on the table in front of you.
In China, Korea, and Japan, handing over and receiving a business
card is a small but important ceremony (Fox, 2008). The business card
is presented and accepted with both hands, accompanied by a small
bow. The business card is touched at the top corners without obscuring
the name and company logo. Take time to read the business card.
Putting it away unread would be considered disrespectful. Other
countries, other customs: In India in general, and in some Islamic
regions, the business card is handed over or received with the right
hand only since the left hand is considered unclean.
It is advisable to have a plentiful supply of business cards with you. In
shopping malls and large hotels, there are stores where business
cards can be printed within 24 hours, preferably in English on one side
and in the local language on the other. Ask a native speaker with
knowledge of your business to check the local language wording.
34 HOW TO MEET

1.5.1 Electronic business cards
These days, you can quickly and easily exchange contact information
using your mobile phone. Taking a picture of a business card is also an
efficient way. Contact lists or customer files can subsequently be
synchronised using an app. In fact, there are numerous inexpensive
apps with which to design, create, store, and send digital business cards
to other mobile devices and store and annotate third-party business
cards. Working with a digital business card folder is easy and
convenient.
Instead of exchanging paper or physical business cards, it is
becoming increasingly common to use different types of electronic
business cards for exchanging contact data. So make sure your
information is always up to date. Despite all the new
possibilities digital technology offers, printed business
cards are still very popular among most age groups.
For examples of business card apps
read the QR code.
Comply with local and international data protection regulations and
laws. Business cards collected at cocktail receptions, trade shows,
and other events are subject to the data protection provisions
applicable.
1.6 Phone conversations and mobile phone use
Make it a policy not to use your mobile phone during a visit or while
you are in a meeting. You should give your undivided attention to the
people present. Making a phone call or reading your emails implies
that these activities are more important to you than the people present.
Even simply placing your mobile phone in front of you on the table
suggests a willingness to interrupt the conversation to deal with
something “more important”. If you are expecting an urgent call, let
those you are with know beforehand. When a phone call comes in,
excuse yourself and move away to take the call. If you are called on a
landline phone during a meeting, apologise for the interruption, answer
1 Etiquette
35

HOW
TO HOST
3 Conversation and Small Talk
53

Around the world, an invitation to lunch or dinner is an essential part
of maintaining personal, official, and business relationships. Both as a
guest and a host, it is helpful to understand international table manners.
When should you begin eating? Should you raise your glass to make a
toast? Where does the napkin go if you have to leave the table for a
moment?
When inviting guests to a meal or a standing reception – in a
restaurant or a private setting – good organisation is the key to hosting
a successful event. Invitations, the choice of menu and suitable wines
and other beverages, local and international customs, the seating
arrangements, the servers, table speeches, and toasts – with foresight,
everything can run like clockwork, and embarrassing mishaps can be
avoided.
“How to Host” begins from the guest’s perspective, but it also
outlines the role of the host and covers the many small details that
ensure a memorable event. Whether you are a hands-on host or delegate
the task to others, you will find a wealth of information and professional
advice that has proven invaluable through many years of international
practice.
54 HOW TO HOST

7.7.5 Menu cards
When are menu cards useful?
At set meals.
To clear up any ambiguities.
To indicate a choice (two starter options, fish or meat, etc.).
To provide a brief explanation of the dishes and wines (if any).
To indicate the approximate timeframe of the event.
To warn of any potential allergens.
To advise on the source of ingredients (this may be a legal requirement
in some countries, e. g., the country of origin of the meat).
Where should they be placed?
Under the napkin.
On the place setting.
Above the place setting.
Design tips:
Simple, understandable wording (refrain from lengthy explanations).
Instead of a separate place card (see 7.7.7 “Place cards”, page 118),
the names of guests can also be printed on the outside of the menu
card or written by hand.
120 g/m 2 (80 lb) card stock, print in landscape format; then fold in
half.
7.7.6 Table plan
If you are organizing an event where you want or need to keep a
particular seating arrangement, it is advisable to create a table plan (see
7.6 “Seating arrangements”, page 103). It is a good idea to display a
table plan next to the dining room entrance, especially for events with
several tables (16 people or more). This prevents guests from searching
for their seats for a long time or standing in line when asked to come to
the table. In addition, the table plan is the reference for laying out the
place cards.
For larger events, in addition to the table plan, it is helpful to have an
alphabetical guest list indicating at which table each guest is seated.
For example, such a list can be displayed with the table plan or near the
cloakroom.
7 You as Host or Organiser
117

Consider making the table plan available digitally.
Do not number tables (“Table 1”, “Table 2”, etc.) as this creates
an impression of hierarchy. Instead, choose the names of cities,
mountains, or something similar for tables.
7.7.7 Place cards
Where should these go? Place the legibly written place cards on the
table above the dessert cutlery. The place card shows the guest’s title,
first name, and last name. If the table plan (see 7.7.6 “Table plan”,
page 117) already mentions a title, this need not appear again on the
place card.
Label place cards on both sides so those opposite can also read the
name.
7.7.8 Service protocol
There are several ways in which a guest can be served. The serving
methods listed below are most commonly used in restaurants and at
events.
From the right: set (e. g., place an extra spoon on the table), insert
(place a plate in front of the guest), and remove (clear dishes, salt
and pepper, etc., that are no longer needed from the table).
From the left: offer (food platters from which guests will serve
themselves) and present (placing food onto guests’ plates). In
addition, everything located to the guest’s left (e. g., salad plate,
bread plate, forks) should be introduced or removed from that side.
Clearing the table:
Service staff should never stack dishes on the table. Leftover food is
not wiped off a plate in front of a guest (and behind the guest only
in an emergency).
To clear a table, dishes etc. are usually removed from the same side
from which the food was served.
118 HOW TO HOST

7.8 Your role as the host
Hosts have duties from the beginning to the very end of the event. If
you are the host, it is your responsibility to ensure that guests feel
comfortable and well looked after. This begins when your first guest
arrives and ends when the last guest has departed.
As host, you direct the course of events. Even more important than
tasteful decorations, exquisite food, and fine wines is the atmosphere
you create:
Welcome every guest.
At formal occasions, receive guests together with your partner
(if applicable). For an event that you are co-hosting (e. g., music
festival director and partner, sponsoring company representative
and partner), form a “receiving line” to greet the guests, meaning
both hosts stand in line (with their partners, if applicable), to receive
guests.
For larger events, have a place ready for any gifts your guests may
bring. If this is a separate room, have a pen ready to make a note of
who brought what. This will help you when you thank them later.
Should gifts be opened in the presence of the guests or not?
Apart from cultural differences (ask about these if you are away
from home), there are arguments for and against such a practice.
In a smaller gathering, it pleases the giver if you unwrap their gift
and thank them for it immediately. However, you may not want to
embarrass someone who has brought a more modest gift. Similarly,
you may fear an unwelcome gift and prefer not to open it in the
presence of other guests. If this is the case, remember it is the
thought that counts, and your gratitude for the gesture can come
from the heart. In the case of an event with many guests, it is not
possible, purely in terms of time, to unwrap the gifts immediately.
Instead, say thank you on the following day, especially if someone
has made their gift personal in some way. You can, of course, write
thank-you notes, even for chocolates or wine, but this is not usually
expected.
7 You as Host or Organiser
119

In the business context, there is a growing awareness that gifts must
meet compliance guidelines and not exceed a given value. Check with
your company or the institution you represent in this regard. With
international business contacts, it may be difficult or impossible to
decline an overly generous gift – the person giving the gift would be
offended, the business relationship would be jeopardized, or the giver
would simply insist and not take no for an answer. Disclose such
instances to your company (line manager, legal department). If you are
asked for your preferences in advance, point out any compliance
guidelines. If appropriate, suggest they make a charitable donation in
place of a gift.
See also 4.2 “Presents for hosts” on page 58.
Be sure to talk to each guest at least once during the event, even if
only briefly (see Chapter 3 “Conversation and Small Talk”,
page 48). However, this is not always possible with a larger
number of guests.
As a host, you will probably know your guests, but they may not
know each other. Your task is to introduce them to each other with
their title, name, and function (see 1.4 “Introductions”, page 32).
Before you begin the event, reread the guest list and memorise the
full names as if you were learning vocabulary. Your guests will
appreciate your attention to detail.
At the table, signal when to start drinking and eating (see 5.4 “Eating
and drinking”, page 69), and, at the end of the meal, when guests
should rise from the table.
Be attentive to your dinner guests:
8 If someone has been sitting at the table in silence for a long time
because the guests on either side are talking to someone else,
draw this person into the conversation, and enquire about their
view on the current topic of discussion.
8 If a guest dominates the conversation with lengthy monologues,
remember that they will also take an occasional bite of food.
Seize this moment to introduce a new topic, preferably prompted
by a question addressed directly to another guest.
8 Suppose foreign guests complain about the shortcomings of the
host country – sometimes in the presence of compatriots of that
country. If you are the host, change the subject immediately (see
Chapter 3 “Conversation and Small Talk”, page 48).
120 HOW TO HOST

HOW
TO DRESS
9 Wine, Beer, Spirits, and Low-/Non-Alcoholic Drinks
155

Many of us ask ourselves every day, what should I wear? Should I
dress comfortably in functional clothing or choose an outfit that will
make me stand out from the crowd? What style suits me best? Should
I follow a fashion trend? Every season, the fashion industry launches
new styles for every occasion while influencers and style icons in the
entertainment industry tell us the latest fashion “must-haves” and “nogos”.
Even seasoned fashionistas find it difficult to keep pace. In
addition, few of us are prepared to invest a vast amount of time and
money in our wardrobes. What to wear becomes even more difficult
when we are faced with an invitation to an event that has a specific
dress code, such as “smart casual”.
Dress codes are meant to clarify what to wear to a particular event.
However, the only time when this is made absolutely clear is at formal
functions, where men are required to wear “black tie” (dark suit, white
shirt, and black bow tie), “white tie” (a tuxedo, a tuxedo shirt, and a
white bow tie), or “morning suit” (a morning coat, waistcoat, and
formal trousers). These are described in more detail in Chapter 10
“Event Dress Codes – From Casual to White Tie”. For all other dress
codes, there is usually room for interpretation.
Dress codes also apply in a professional environment. Every industry
has its own, more or less specific rules for what to wear. (Chapter 11
“Dress Codes in Business”). Some organisations have a written dress
code, although strict enforcement can lead to resistance. Many
employees do not like to be dictated to about what they can or cannot
wear.
Dress codes differ according to the cultural region, business sector,
and status of the wearer. They also change over time.
The How to Dress section of this book is intended to provide clarity
on matters of dress. It describes specific dress codes for various event
categories to eliminate the most common uncertainties. It also lists the
main criteria for dressing appropriately in a professional context,
which will make it easier to make the right decisions. The first
impression counts. In fact, according to several studies, it only takes
the blink of an eye to form an initial impression of another human
being. This should guide you in choosing your outfit.
As a look at historical dress codes confirms, since time immemorial,
people have been concerned with who may, should, or must wear what
and on which occasion.
156 HOW TO DRESS

Index
A
Accessories ..................... 183
Afternoon tea .................... 56
Alcohol ........................ 125
Allergens ....................... 203
Allergy ......................... 97
Applying for a job . ............... 172
Appropriateness .................. 59
Assigning seats .................. 106
Audio conference ................. 47
B
Baking ingredients ............... 125
Balancing the menu . ............... 88
Beer . ...................... 144 – 146
Beginning the meal ................ 70
Beverage selection ............. 88, 93
Bill . ............................ 80
Booking . ........................ 81
Bottle shapes .................... 141
Bowing ......................... 21
Brandy . ........................ 149
Bread . .......................... 92
Buffet ................... 86, 91, 200
Business card ................. 34 – 35
Business casual .............. 163, 174
C
Carnations ....................... 60
Casual dress code ................ 157
Caterer . ......................... 82
Catering service .................. 80
Ceremonies ...................... 42
Changing the subject . .............. 50
Clearing the table ................ 118
Clearing up ...................... 70
Clothing laws ................... 158
Clothing regulations .............. 157
Cocktail reception ....... 83 – 84, 89, 198
Compliance ...................... 59
Compliments . ................... 186
Confectionery .................... 58
Conference centre ................. 79
Cookbook quantities .............. 123
Cooking ingredients .............. 125
Corporate dress code . ............. 171
Court etiquette . ................... 42
Cup ........................... 124
Customs . ........................ 64
Cutlery . ..................... 67, 112
D
Decorations ...................... 91
Delicate issues . .................. 185
Dessert . ......................... 93
Dietary vegan .................... 95
Diets ........................... 65
Digital business card ............... 35
Digital etiquette . ............... 45 – 46
Digital invitation ................. 101
Dominant handshake . .............. 17
Door etiquette .................... 37
Dress code . ......... 157, 163 – 170, 174
Dress codes in business . ........... 171
Dress regulations . ................ 158
Drink suggestions ................ 201
E
Egg alternative ................... 96
Emojis .......................... 46
Ending the conversation ............ 51
Ending the meal .................. 70
Entertaining at home . ............. 192
Escorting a guest . .............. 37, 38
Ethical vegan . .................... 95
Etiquette ..................... 39 – 40
Event dress code . . . . . . . . . 157, 160 – 161
Event format ..................... 78
Event planning ................... 78
Eye contact ................... 17, 20
F
Finger food ............ 83 – 84, 89, 198
First impression . ................. 178
First in, first out (FIFO) ........... 128
First name ....................... 31
Fish/seafood alternative ............ 96
Flexitarian ....................... 94
Flowers ......................... 58
Food delivery service .............. 80
Food hygiene . ................... 128
Food safety ..................... 129
Food waste ...................... 99
Forks .......................... 113
Formal dress code ........ 157, 168 – 169
Form of address . ............... 23, 26
Fortified wine ................... 137
Freegan ......................... 95
Fruitarian . ....................... 95
Index
217

G
Gastronorm (GN) ................. 88
Gender-neutral salutation ........... 23
GIFs . ........................... 46
Gin . ........................... 147
Glasses ................. 67, 113, 114
Good manners .................... 13
Greeting . ........................ 14
Greeting formula . ................. 74
Guest list ........................ 78
Guest of honour . .................. 39
H
Hand-kissing ..................... 18
Handshake . ................ 13, 17, 20
Hazard Analysis and Critical Control
Points (HACCP) .............. 128
Health issues ..................... 65
Hierarchies ...................... 15
High tea . ........................ 56
Holding an event .................. 82
Host . ....................... 77, 119
Hosting events . ................... 77
Hotel ........................... 79
Hybrid event ..................... 47
I
Impression management ....... 181, 182
Inappropriate topics of conversation . .. 50
Informal dress code . .......... 157, 164
Interpersonal space ................ 19
Intolerance . ...................... 97
Introducing other people . ........... 32
Introducing yourself ............... 33
Invitation ................ 55, 100 – 103
K
Keeping the conversation going ...... 49
Kisses .......................... 19
Knives ............... 59, 67, 113, 127
L
Lacto-vegetarian .................. 94
Language of dress ................ 177
Last name ....................... 31
Left hand ........................ 18
Legal considerations ............... 82
Liqueurs ....................... 150
M
Making contact ................... 48
Meal sequences ................... 91
Meat substitute ................... 96
Menu ........................... 88
Menu card ...................... 117
Milk . .......................... 125
Milk alternative . .................. 96
Mishaps . ....................... 122
Misleading signals ............... 183
Mobile phone ................. 35 – 36
Modern menu .................... 90
Moist palm ...................... 17
N
Name . .................... 22 – 23, 26
Napkin . ............... 67, 68 – 69, 116
National costume dress code . ....... 170
Networking event ................. 49
NOLO beverages . ............ 151 – 152
No-show ratio .................... 79
O
Online meeting ................... 47
Oral greeting ..................... 24
Order of greeting . .............. 14, 22
Order of precedence ......... 14, 16, 74
Organiser . ....................... 77
Oven .......................... 124
Ovo-lacto vegetarian ............... 94
Ovo-vegetarian ................... 94
P
Perfume . ....................... 185
Pesco-vegetarian .................. 94
Phone call ....................... 35
Physical contact .................. 21
Pitfalls ......................... 122
Place card ...................... 118
Place of honour .................. 107
Place setting ................ 109 – 111
Planning events ............ 77 – 78, 188
Plant-based alternatives . ............ 96
Poor manners .................... 42
Posture . ...................... 18, 66
Precedence ................ 14, 16, 74
Present for the host ................ 58
Protocol . ..................... 39 – 40
Punctuality ...................... 57
Q
Quantity calculation ........... 81, 125
Quotation . ................... 81, 190
R
Range of glasses ................. 113
Ranking of guests ............ 104, 107
Ranking of seats ................. 104
Recipes .................... 123 – 124
Religious dietary rules ......... 97, 202
Remote working .................. 45
Reservation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 190
Responding to an invitation ......... 57
218 APPENDIX

Restaurant .......... 37, 77, 79 – 80, 194
Rituals .......................... 42
Rum . .......................... 150
S
Salt ....................... 125, 126
Save-the-date . ................... 102
Say goodbye ..................... 60
Saying farewell ................... 60
Seating arrangement .............. 103
Seating guests of honour . ........... 39
Seating plan . ............ 104 , 105, 106
Semi-formal dress code . ... 157, 165 – 167
Sequence of speakers .............. 74
Service protocol ................. 118
Serviette ........................ 69
Set menu ..................... 85, 90
Signature ........................ 47
Sit-down meal ............. 85, 90, 199
Small talk .................... 48, 52
Special cutlery . .................. 112
Speech . ...................... 73, 75
Spirits ...................... 59, 146
Spoken greeting .................. 23
Spoon measures ................. 123
Starting the conversation . ........... 48
Status symbols .................. 181
Stereotypes ..................... 179
Storing bottled wine .............. 141
Stresemann ..................... 170
Stroller . ........................ 170
Sulphite ........................ 138
Sustainable Development Goals
(SDGs) . ...................... 98
Sustainable event . ............ 195 – 197
Sweet wine ................. 136, 142
Venue . .................. 79, 189, 194
Vermouth . ...................... 150
Video conference ............. 47, 176
Visual signals ................... 182
Viticulture ...................... 131
Vodka ......................... 148
W
Waste management ................ 99
Whipped cream .................. 125
Whisky ........................ 146
Wine ....................... 59, 131
Wine abnormalities ............... 140
Wine bottles .................... 205
Wine containers . ................. 140
Wine defects .................... 139
Wine-growing regions . ............ 132
Wine label ...................... 137
Wine sediment . .................. 140
Wine type .................. 142 – 143
Written address ................... 25
Written complimentary close ........ 30
Written invitation ............. 55, 100
Written salutation ................. 29
T
Table manners .................... 64
Table plan .................. 117, 118
Tequila . ........................ 148
Thanking the host ................. 60
Tipping ...................... 61, 63
Title ......................... 22 – 23
Toast ........................ 73 – 75
Types of drinking glasses .......... 114
U
Uniform dress code . .............. 170
V
Vegan food guidelines . ............. 95
Veganism . .................... 94 – 95
Vegan wine ..................... 153
Vegetarian food guidelines .......... 94
Vegetarianism ................. 94, 95
Index
219

A Word from the Authors
In this book, we have compiled advice, tips, and guidelines which, in
our long-term international careers, have proven their validity. We
sincerely hope they will be useful to you, as well.
You might think that moving and communicating in style in the
international arena will be challenging, and that remaining cool, calm,
and collected at all times will be impossible. This is not the case. Most
of our tips and rules are easy to apply. They will help you to be more
aware of the expectations of those around you, avoid embarrassing
situations, and prevent misunderstandings. If something goes wrong –
and that can happen – take it seriously but remember that even a
seasoned professional can make a mistake. In such moments, offer an
honest apology or make a humorous remark at your own expense to
lighten the mood. Remember the saying, “The show must go on.” In
other words, keep calm and carry on.
The following guideline will serve you well: Treat everyone with
courtesy, respect, and appreciation; use your common sense; and ask
questions whenever you are unsure – especially in an international
context.
We wish you every success in all your international ventures.
Barbara Zehnder and Daniel Senn
PS: We are always interested to read about your experiences. To reach
us, please send an email to contact@courtesycompetence.com.
12 A Word from the Authors
221

The Authors
Barbara Zehnder has been advising companies
and individuals on image presentation, business
etiquette, and how to dress correctly since 2003.
Over 30 years of experience in the diplomatic
arena as an event organiser, networker, host, and
partner of a diplomat underpin the practical
relevance of her input. Barbara is particularly
interested in people and their communication –
while focusing on overcoming intercultural
barriers. She demonstrates how communication bridges can be built
through appreciative attention and openness. Barbara has lived and
worked in Switzerland, Belgium, South Korea, Austria, Ukraine, and
Sweden. She currently lives in Switzerland.
Daniel Senn has over 30 years of experience in
international hotel management. As a global
professional and co-travelling partner in the
diplomatic service, he has been organising
gatherings, meetings, and promotional events
worldwide for over 25 years. He practises
professional service and hospitality with his heart
and soul, both on and behind the scenes. Daniel
shares his knowledge and experience – from chef
to hotel manager – with generosity and enthusiasm. Daniel has lived
and worked in Switzerland, the United States, Saudi Arabia, the Czech
Republic, Thailand, Australia, Brazil, Nigeria, Spain, and Tunisia. He
currently lives in Italy.
224