Frank Magazine Issue 600.pdf - Besthostingplanever.com

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TWEETS OF THE WEEK Follow Frank on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Atlantic_Frank. Because you never know when Frank may be watching. � � � � A company rep says Ultramar plans to sell its service station lands on Chebucto and Connolly after site remediation is finished. The clean-up process typically takes at least two years, sez Ultramar’s Warren Maynard. The gas station filled up its last tank on Nov. 30. The 13,650 square-foot property is assessed at $310,100. (Tweeted Dec. 4) � At SGR provincial court, toiler just walked by with samples of flooring to show Judge Bill Digby for renos at his chambers. Nice. (Tweeted Dec. 2) � Liberal leader Stephen McNeil engaged in a v. serious political discussion with middle-aged brunette at Anna’s Cafe on Hollis. (Tweeted Dec. 2) � Porker acting strangely. The Gliberal MLA leaves the Scotia Square KFC without ordering anything. (Tweeted Dec. 1) 2 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK DECEMBER 21, 2010 � A cashier at Lawton’s in Scotia Square just told me I look like a combination of everyone on Big Bang Theory. The hot chick too, I wonder? (Tweeted Nov. 30) � Has a finer-looking conveyance ever roamed the streets of Halifax? (Tweeted Dec. 1) � Former Commissionaires N.S. gal Tanya Sieliakus-Bourne winds her way through the lineup at Empire Bayers Lake with a dark-haired dude in tow. (Tweeted Nov. 27) � More construction workers than tellers at RBC Oxford & Quinpool. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a reno service fee on my next bank statement. (Tweeted Nov. 24) 24 Nov � Did Starr Dobson just call Cyril Lunney “Surrul”? (Tweeted Nov. 23)
ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA ISSUE 600 DECEMBER 21, 2010 On the road to Dartmouth Crossing, I had a vision. Suddenly the LED streetlight overhead began flashing... I pulled over to the side of the road, unhooked my seat belt, and fell under the car seat, where I toss all my empty Timmy’s cups. I heard a voice over the car stereo say, “Why do you persecute me?” “Who is this?” I called, but no one answered, except the wife, who asked if I was nuts. The eerie voice replied, “I represent the taxpayers of Nova Scotia, whom you are persecuting!” The voice ordered me to go into the city, where apparently I would be told what to do. As I crouched under the steering wheel, an old coffee cup squished against my face, the old lady hollered, “What is wrong with you? We’ll miss the featured deals at Future Shop!” I struggled back upright, and my vision was struck by a giant ball of light. “My God, my God, I’ve gone blind!” I cried. The missus clutched my arm, and I silently vowed I’d never persecute the poor, innocent taxpayer again. Just as I was about to call Graham and repeal the HST hike, a semi, barrelling towards us in the opposite lane, switched off its high-beams, and I could see! That’s when I realised that old philistine Don Connolly was interviewing Auditor General Jacques Lapointe on Information Boring. I snapped to my senses, turned to the ball and chain and yelled, “Let’s go buy the kid another expensive digital camera on the taxpayer’s dime!” I never did call Graham to repeal the HST hike. I’m headed back to Arizona for some more R&R. Seeya after the holidays! Comrade Comrade Darrellolai Darrellolai Darrellolai Dexterovich, Dexterovich, Nova Nova Scotia Scotia Premier Premier Managing editor: Andrew Douglas Chief reporter: Dan Walsh Staff reporters: Neal Ozano John Williams Copy editor/Layout: Joan Westen Atlantic Canada Frank is a magazine of news, satire, opinion, comment and humour published every two weeks by Coltsfoot Publishing Limited. Copyright Coltsfoot Publishing Limited. Coltsfoot Publishing is the proprietor and publisher of Atlantic Canada Frank. Mailing address: Frank Magazine, P.O. Box 295, Halifax, B3J 2N7. Subscriptions: see back page. Publications Mail Agreement No. 40050490; P.A.P. No. 8158. Phone: 420-1668. Fax: 423-0281. E-mail: atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca. Tollfree Tips Hotline: 1-888-335-5505. Letters, see Pages 30, 31. We acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Periodical Fund (CPF) for our publishing activities. PLEASE SEND ONE YEAR OF FRANK TO: NAME ADDRESS ADDRESS PHONE NUMBER AND TO ... NAME ADDRESS ADDRESS PHONE SEND ME A YEAR OF FRANK, TOO! YES TO RENEW, PHONE: 1-800-259-1066 OR MAIL THIS FORM TO: How big is your MLA’s pension? $44.95 Xmas special Offer expires Jan. 31, 2011 NO Cardholder’s name NEW RENEWAL I understand my VISA _____ M’CARD ______ or AMEX ______ will be billed for: $ ________ ($44.95* per CDN sub) Card number Expiry Signature Daytime phone number RENEW YOUR SUBSCRIPTION ONLINE AT WWW.ATLANTICFRANK.CA OR FAX: 1-888- 259-0025 P.O. BOX 1481 SHELBURNE, N.S. BOT 1W0 frank.mag@ns.sympatico.ca DECEMBER 21, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 3
Page 1: East Coast Air turbulence? � Barb
Page 5 and 6: JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU HEARD IT
Page 7 and 8: � � � Cape Breton-born Denny
Page 9 and 10: LOVE... IT’S NOT EXACTLY TOM CRUI
Page 11 and 12: AUTO-MATIC RELIEF DOWN AT THE STEEL
Page 13 and 14: PUBNICO A’FLUTTER ABOUT HOMETOWN
Page 15 and 16: FRANK’S SPECTACULAR 600TH ISSUE R
Page 17 and 18: HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT TH
Page 19 and 20: PUFFERY PAYDAY NIMBUS PUBLISHING MA
Page 21 and 22: THE NOVA SCOTIA WAY OF LIFE BY DAN
Page 23 and 24: WOULD A 25% CUT TO JUNKET BUDGETS M
Page 25 and 26: FRED’S NOT JUST BETTER... HE’S
Page 27 and 28: FM AMEMBASSY OTTAWA TO SECSTATE WAS
Page 29 and 30: ...DA MINUTE WE’RE FINISHED BUILD
Page 31 and 32: FAX ANYTIME: (902) 423-0281 LETTERS

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