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Dave Cannan’s “The Wash” documents the daily non-events of Dunedin’s<br />
mediocre affairs, or “phenomena” as Cannan would say. This week, a thrilling<br />
mystery: A member of the public spotted a picture saying “Joe loves Jill”:<br />
I think they’re lesbians, Dave.<br />
Dave also had some exceptional pun chat for us…<br />
…conceding that the ODT does in fact actively source puns for its impressive<br />
headlines.<br />
In other ODT brilliance:<br />
In tHe WAsH<br />
By Alice O’Connell<br />
And in its coverage of Te Reo Maori Language week, the ODT gained<br />
insightful knowledge from a local Maori woman:<br />
critic.co.nz<br />
FRIDAy nIgHt<br />
By Tim A. Rou<br />
Friday nights are always the same<br />
An anxiety ruminating through<br />
The shapes <strong>your</strong> lips make<br />
Desparate, decadent pleas<br />
For the public validation<br />
You crave enough to<br />
Vacuum every day,<br />
Buy organic low fat milk,<br />
Read about socialism<br />
And pretend that I’m<br />
A respectable person.<br />
The pleas go un<strong>not</strong>iced<br />
But <strong>not</strong> unheard.<br />
The scrutiny of friends<br />
Is tiresome<br />
And if I’m <strong>not</strong> here<br />
To drink the rest<br />
Of the wine you tried<br />
To hide from me<br />
And scream at televangelists<br />
Then who will?<br />
You aren’t so understanding<br />
So you begin once more<br />
Your routine of chaos<br />
A crusade against stagnation<br />
That is yet to be apparent.<br />
While I return with a sigh<br />
To my unfinished poem<br />
And light a cigarette<br />
My own intimate smoke signal.<br />
CoLUMNs<br />
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