ISSUE 114 APRIL 2009 Sign Update

WELCOME Page
Still seeking my six-pack
As I sat reading though the morning paper, it seems there are three types of
person out there.
First, the fat cats (as the media have labelled them), who have the worry of where to
put their money now. My heart goes out to them. If you are not a fat cat by now then you
have left it too late.
Then there are those “permanently on the social” that don’t have to worry about
anything. If you are one of these, you won’t be reading this magazine so I can say what I
like without upsetting any readers, so “You lazy devils, (not all of them) living off the backs
of others all your life”. I could go on but I won’t.
And last of all, there are those poor sods that have to try and keep this country afloat with
their taxes. Whoops! I nearly forgot; there are four types and the fourth are the pensioners.
Me, I have moved out of being a “poor sod” and into the pensioner group – and life’s
just one bed of roses. My pension comes every week whether I work or not, I can get up
when I want, it’s great! Now we are into April and the best is still to come, I’m not referring
to the Sign & Digital UK exhibition, but the weather. The windows are open with the smell
of fresh cut grass, the tulips are out, and I’ve got the runner beans well under way in the
greenhouse. My tomato plants are seven centimetres high. Anyone reading this must be
thinking that I’m the happiest man alive. Well, I’m not.
All started well enough, I had moved all my summer clothes to the front of the wardrobe
and my winter stuff to the back. Yes, to all the clean people out there, they do get washed first.
Readers do pick up on little things like that. Then along came the problem, my six-pack. Alright,
but it was a six-pack 30 years ago. Now, if I close one eye, squint with the other, dim the
lights just a little and I mean dim, not put them out, there looking back at me is what looks
like a six-pack. But this year, because it’s been a long winter, with one cold night followed
by another, sitting in front of the fire watching a load of old rubbish on the television, I’ve
been comfort eating, three good meals a day, topped up with cakes and biscuits in between
hasn’t helped either. This year, my six-pack has turned into just the one-pack. So now I will
have to stick to the summer diet of salads and fruit so I can get back into my summer clothes
and that’s why I’m not happy! If I were a lady, I’d just go out and replace the lot! Old blokes
don’t do that; we get ourselves back into shape so we can fit into our existing wardrobe.
Then we put lots of weight back on in the autumn so to fit into our winter clothes.
ISSUE 114 APRIL 2009 Sign Update 7