Issue 20 | August 13,2012 | critic.co.nz

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14 News Briefs 6 3 8 5 3 7 9 4 6 3 9 5 1 2 7 3 1 1 3 6 6 4 2 6 2 9 4 1 5 2 8 7 3 8 Puzzle Time 4 3 YouTube – Sian Welch & Wendy Ingraham The Crawl – 1997 Laughing at this might make you feel guilty, but it is well worth your time. Two athletes collapse into crawling at the end of an Iron Man. YouTube – World Record Speed Cooking! Leigh Hart shows us how to save time when cooking. He cuts some ridiculous corners and makes an utterly inedible yet hilarious dish. www.patentlysilly.com A collection of the strangest patents issued by the United States Patent office. You could spend hours mocking the life’s work of inventors of the lap dance liner or the crotch drier. www.cakewrecks.com Want to make yourself feel better about your baking skills? This site hosts a collection of professional cake failures, from cardboard cakes to illiterate messages.
“An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them.” “I get an urge, like a pregnant elephant, to go away and give birth to a book.” “Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the sewage business – which at least does us all some good.” “When you’ve seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you know why clothing exists.” “Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.” USA – Angry about his recent arrest for resisting arrest and marijuana possession, an American man decided to take revenge on police vehicles. The 34-year-old drove over seven police cars with his tractor. With their vehicles crushed, the police had nothing to pursue him with, but since he was a crazy man driving a tractor it didn’t take long. Belarus | Two Swedish men piloted a light plane into the heavily guarded airspace of Belarus and dropped 879 teddy bears decked out in parachutes and slogans supporting human rights. The pair said they wanted to show support for Belarusian human rights activists and embarrass the country’s military, which we can safely say they achieved. China | An elderly Chinese woman fed up with drivers speeding past a pedestrian crossing near her home decided to take matters into her own hands. The resourceful grandmother tied an inflatable sex doll to a tree at the crossing in the hope that motorists would slow down to look at it. Apparently it’s working. Australia | A Northern Territory man had to be hospitalised after a party trick went wrong. In a stroke of brilliance, he decided to set off a firecracker in his bum. Unsurprisingly the man received severe burns to his cheeks, back and genitals. Police think that alcohol was a possible factor. Enter online code HELLFREEDEL 80% of the world’s porn is made in the U.S.A The winning candidate of every US presidential election has been the one with the most financial backing. Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane both narrowly missed being on the planes that were hijacked on 9/11. Wahlberg booked for the flight but drove to New York instead. MacFarlane arrived to the gate 10 minutes late and missed the flight. Out of respect for Heath Ledger, the Joker is never mentioned in The Dark Knight Rises. 15
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Page 31 and 32: FROM THE DIARY OF MITT ROMNEY By Cr
Page 33 and 34: SAINT THOMAS AqUINAS REBEL, THEOLOG
Page 35 and 36: ODT’s resident journalist extraor
Page 37 and 38: INTERvIEW WITH ALYx DUNCAN New Zeal
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Page 41 and 42: Slender Platforms: PC, Mac | Develo
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Issue 20 | August 13,2012 | critic.co.nz

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