Issue 20 | August 13,2012 | critic.co.nz

“An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them.”
“I get an urge, like a pregnant elephant, to go away and give birth to a
book.”
“Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the
sewage business – which at least does us all some good.”
“When you’ve seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault you
know why clothing exists.”
“Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators.”
USA – Angry about his recent arrest for resisting arrest and marijuana possession,
an American man decided to take revenge on police vehicles. The 34-year-old drove over
seven police cars with his tractor. With their vehicles crushed, the police had nothing
to pursue him with, but since he was a crazy man driving a tractor it didn’t take long.
Belarus | Two Swedish men piloted a light plane into the heavily guarded airspace
of Belarus and dropped 879 teddy bears decked out in parachutes and slogans supporting
human rights. The pair said they wanted to show support for Belarusian human rights
activists and embarrass the country’s military, which we can safely say they achieved.
China | An elderly Chinese woman fed up with drivers speeding past a pedestrian
crossing near her home decided to take matters into her own hands. The resourceful
grandmother tied an inflatable sex doll to a tree at the crossing in the hope that motorists
would slow down to look at it. Apparently it’s working.
Australia | A Northern Territory man had to be hospitalised after a party trick
went wrong. In a stroke of brilliance, he decided to set off a firecracker in his bum.
Unsurprisingly the man received severe burns to his cheeks, back and genitals. Police
think that alcohol was a possible factor.
Enter online code HELLFREEDEL
80% of the world’s
porn is made in the
U.S.A
The winning candidate of every US
presidential election has been the one
with the most financial backing.
Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane
both narrowly missed being on the
planes that were hijacked on 9/11.
Wahlberg booked for the flight but
drove to New York instead. MacFarlane
arrived to the gate 10 minutes late and
missed the flight.
Out of respect for Heath Ledger, the
Joker is never mentioned in
The Dark Knight Rises.
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