The Porn Circuit | Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability and Filtering

CHapter 6: Habits of Freedom
To help people get a sense of their current attitude, she encourages them to write down every
excuse that comes to them for 24 hours.
“When that excuse maker is gone, you’re home,” she writes. “That dopamine receptor is yours
— you own it […] Feed your soul, not your addictive beast.”
Of course, making the choice to change is the start of a formidable battle. Now, the time has
come to take action.
Goal Setting
Every action plan needs a starting point and tasks to complete along the way. A person who
is committed to escaping porn’s trap will need to set goals, Dr. Laaser says. 6 In a moment of
shame or pain a person can easily say, “No more. I’ll stop.” But true clarity and committed
resolve requiring a plan.
Laaser and several other therapists and neurologists say the first step to escaping pornography
is to pull out a calendar and establish a 90-day goal in which porn and masturbation are to be
cut off. 7 A person may use the calendar on their smart phone or computer if they like, but they
should use a calendar they will look at every day.
Dates of celebration should be noted to recognize progress, such as Day 3, Day 5, Day 7, Day 14,
Day 25 and so on. Positive treats or rewards will vary from person to person, but it’s valuable to
reward and recognize those milestones along the way.
The long-term goal is to actually stop the porn and masturbation cycle completely, but 90 days
of escape is the first goal to achieve. And for many it will look like a mountain, a period of porn
and masturbation abstinence they have not known for years or even decades.
This time period is awash with peril. In the coming paragraphs we’ll review more action items,
techniques, and tricks to stay strong in the fight, but one factor is important to mention here.
Giving in to either porn or masturbation will set back the recovery time. It is self-defeating.
It’s time to use the brain to fight back. The prefrontal cortex is the decision-making logical part
of the brain, and each time that a person resists temptation and each time a positive habit is
reinforced, the prefrontal cortex gets stronger. That means a person’s willpower grows and the
cues and cravings for porn use grow weaker.
People who have tried to quit porn before without success have allowed their brain to accept
a lie. “I’ve been doing well. I need a little relief. One more time won’t hurt.” Giving in to the
temptation will increase recovery time, stall one’s progress, and worse, make the effort a
failure.
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