The Porn Circuit | Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability and Filtering

CHapter 6: Habits of Freedom
the new activity and consolidates and grows new neuronal connections,” Dr. Doidge writes.
“This new circuit can eventually compete with the older one, and according to use it or lose it,
the pathological networks will weaken. With this treatment we don’t so much ‘break’ bad habits
as replace bad behaviors with better ones.” 14
Whatever rewarding activity is pursued, it needs to be an activity that is reoccurring. Building
new rewarding neural pathways requires time and ongoing repetition. Doidge repeats the
neurological mantras:
1. Neurons that fire together wire together. Repeating a pleasurable activity instead
of the compulsive activity, such as porn use, forms a new circuit that is gradually
reinforced instead of the compulsion.
2. Neurons that fire apart wire apart. When a person refuses to act on a compulsion,
like porn and masturbation, it weakens the link between the activity and the idea
that it will provide relief.
Doidge teaches that delinking is crucial because while acting on a compulsion eases anxiety in
the short term, it worsens it in the long term. 15
Finally, choose positive habits wisely. Rewarding activities that could trigger acting out should
be avoided. For instance alcohol, provocative movies, and public beaches (where sexual
temptations can flare) may need to be avoided, especially during this 90-day recovery period.
A person usually knows what activities can lead to temptation, and they must be avoided as
rewards until the person’s decision-making routine is powered up.
Three-Second Rule
When watching TV, walking through the mall, or driving past billboards, temptation can strike
when least expected. Many therapists recommend using the 3-Second Rule, which involves
three steps: Alert, Avert, and Affirm.
1. Alert: Realize that you see something inappropriate. It may only take a split-second
to recognize a tempting situation.
2. Avert: Close your eyes or look away. These first two steps should be instantaneous.
3. Affirm: Give yourself a mental high-five to congratulate the effort. Say to yourself,
“I saw that by mistake, and I quickly looked away. I’ve been clean for (enter number
of days) and I’m going to stay that way.”
The Porn Circuit | 37