the_taliban_shuffle_-_kim_barker
the_taliban_shuffle_-_kim_barker
the_taliban_shuffle_-_kim_barker
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was a body-borne improvised explosive device, o<strong>the</strong>rwise known as a<br />
suicide bomber. And <strong>the</strong> DBIED was a donkey-borne improvised<br />
explosive device, o<strong>the</strong>rwise known as a really stupid idea.)<br />
Yes, I wanted to get my war on, because I had no idea what I was<br />
talking about, what war was really like. To ll my spare time, and to<br />
make sure I didn’t have a spare second to think, I even lugged along<br />
something to set <strong>the</strong> mood, a miniseries about war, Band of Bro<strong>the</strong>rs. I<br />
planned to be all war, all <strong>the</strong> time. But as soon as I stepped o <strong>the</strong><br />
helicopter and met <strong>the</strong> base media handler, I gured out I was in <strong>the</strong><br />
wrong place. It soon became obvious that he was unlikely to send me<br />
anywhere.<br />
“When you go to <strong>the</strong> bathroom at night, be sure to take your<br />
photographer,” my handler told me. “There are only three o<strong>the</strong>r<br />
women here.”<br />
I wasn’t sure who or what, exactly, he was worried about, and I<br />
didn’t know <strong>the</strong> proper protocol, so I just smiled and nodded. I knew if<br />
he wanted <strong>the</strong> male photographer to shadow me to <strong>the</strong> bathroom, we<br />
would never be own to <strong>the</strong> ghting nearby, close to <strong>the</strong> border with<br />
Pakistan. Every day I asked for a “bird,” guring that if I used military<br />
slang, it would help. Every day I was told no. And I could see why—<br />
soldiers were actually ghting <strong>the</strong> Taliban down near Bermel, and as<br />
journalists, we were <strong>the</strong> last priority for <strong>the</strong> precious air slots available,<br />
slightly below mail. So instead, <strong>the</strong> photographer and I were sent out<br />
on trips with a platoon of combat engineers who were so bored that<br />
<strong>the</strong> leader carried copies of The Complete Guide to Investing in Rental<br />
Properties and Own Your Own Corporation with him on patrol.<br />
“Oh, it’s going to be a long, boring day,” he said at <strong>the</strong> beginning of<br />
one. Then he realized that sounded bad. “That’s a good thing.”<br />
That day alone, we visited ve villages. The soldiers had several<br />
missions. To nd out about Afghans in army uniforms robbing so-called<br />
jingle trucks, <strong>the</strong> acid-trip trucks from Pakistan that transported most<br />
food and supplies in <strong>the</strong> region and featured uorescent fantasy<br />
paintings and dangly metal chains that clanked toge<strong>the</strong>r and sounded<br />
like “Jingle Bells.” To nd out about a nearby IED. To nd out about<br />
an alleged insurgent named “Hamid Wali” or maybe “Mohammad<br />
Wali,” no one seemed sure—names here frankly as common as Jim or<br />
John Wilson. And always, <strong>the</strong>ir mission was to win hearts and minds, to