Social and Psychological Manipulation - Dean Amory
Unlike people who are trying to influence, persuade or convince others, manipulators work with unfair means to get what they want. They do not respect the personal rights of their victims. They violate the victim's integrity, work with hidden agendas and deliberately use dishonest tricks like faulty reasoning, coercion, blackmail and lying in an attempt to control the victim's actions. Manipulation is about suiting the manipulator's advantage or purpose only, often at the expense of the victim. Yet, it is often difficult to know when you are being manipulated: manipulators do all they can to convince you that you are the one who is to benefit most from their actions and that they are acting in good faith. If we were aware that we are being manipulated, would we allow ourselves to fall victim to it - and how would we defend ourselves against it? That is where this book comes in handy: it explains the tricks manipulators use and teaches you how to best defend and
Unlike people who are trying to influence, persuade or convince others, manipulators work with unfair means to get what they want. They do not respect the personal rights of their victims. They violate the victim's integrity, work with hidden agendas and deliberately use dishonest tricks like faulty reasoning, coercion, blackmail and lying in an attempt to control the victim's actions. Manipulation is about suiting the manipulator's advantage or purpose only, often at the expense of the victim.
Yet, it is often difficult to know when you are being manipulated: manipulators do all they can to convince you that you are the one who is to benefit most from their actions and that they are acting in good faith.
If we were aware that we are being manipulated, would we allow ourselves to fall victim to it - and how would we defend ourselves against it?
That is where this book comes in handy: it explains the tricks manipulators use and teaches you how to best defend and
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They are very good at pointing out areas of agreement <strong>and</strong> at appealing to common values : “We both<br />
want you to have what you want <strong>and</strong> deserve.”, “I don’t want to cause you trouble any more than you<br />
do yourself.”<br />
They overcome objections by providing good reasons why it is in the victim’s best interest to do what<br />
they propose.<br />
An often used scheme is:<br />
Example:<br />
a. Agree with the feelings of the victim<br />
b. Stress areas of agreement<br />
c. Overcome objections by giving good reasons<br />
d. Adding an “It’s for your best interest only / I don’t need you”-disclaimer<br />
“Yes, I know what you mean <strong>and</strong> I am sure that nine out of ten times, that would be the right thing to<br />
do. However, this case has some very unusual circumstances that make it a little different.<br />
Just like you, I wish things were easier, better, cheaper, not so risky, … But I know that you want to<br />
get the best deal <strong>and</strong> I want you to get the best price, to be completely satisfied, You’ve looked around<br />
yourself <strong>and</strong> you already know that the best things in life dem<strong>and</strong> some risk. Taking a little chance is<br />
always something you have to live with. You can’t buy one like this for any less anywhere anyway.<br />
… It’s up to you to decide of course. After all, my only desire is to help you succeed in any way that I<br />
can. After all, I don’t want to see you run into trouble with your wife. …”<br />
Manipulators generate doubt<br />
Manipulators rarely argue directly against an idea or proposal, they will rather first praise their victim<br />
for his ideas, but then create confusion or doubt: “That's an excellent idea, but if we look more deeply<br />
....." or "I agree with what you say but have you considered ....".<br />
Manipulators reduce Resistance with suggestive questions<br />
“Surely, everybody will agree that …” This simple line that we read <strong>and</strong> hear regularly, is the st<strong>and</strong>ard<br />
example of a suggestive question.<br />
Wikipedia, the free Encyclopaedia, describes a suggestive question as a question that implies that a<br />
certain answer should be given in response, or falsely presents a presupposition in the question as<br />
accepted fact. Such a question distorts the memory thereby tricking the person into answering in a<br />
specific way that might or might not be true or consistent with their actual feelings, <strong>and</strong> can be<br />
deliberate or unintentional. For example, the phrasing "Don't you think this was wrong?" is more<br />
suggestive than "Do you think this was wrong?" despite the difference of only one word. The former<br />
may subtly pressure the respondent into responding "yes," whereas the latter is far more direct.<br />
Repeated questions can make people think their first answer is wrong <strong>and</strong> lead them to change their<br />
answer, or it can cause people to continuously answer until the interrogator gets the exact response that<br />
they desire. The diction used by the interviewer can also be an influencing factor to the response given<br />
by the interrogated individual.<br />
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