Social and Psychological Manipulation - Dean Amory
Unlike people who are trying to influence, persuade or convince others, manipulators work with unfair means to get what they want. They do not respect the personal rights of their victims. They violate the victim's integrity, work with hidden agendas and deliberately use dishonest tricks like faulty reasoning, coercion, blackmail and lying in an attempt to control the victim's actions. Manipulation is about suiting the manipulator's advantage or purpose only, often at the expense of the victim. Yet, it is often difficult to know when you are being manipulated: manipulators do all they can to convince you that you are the one who is to benefit most from their actions and that they are acting in good faith. If we were aware that we are being manipulated, would we allow ourselves to fall victim to it - and how would we defend ourselves against it? That is where this book comes in handy: it explains the tricks manipulators use and teaches you how to best defend and
Unlike people who are trying to influence, persuade or convince others, manipulators work with unfair means to get what they want. They do not respect the personal rights of their victims. They violate the victim's integrity, work with hidden agendas and deliberately use dishonest tricks like faulty reasoning, coercion, blackmail and lying in an attempt to control the victim's actions. Manipulation is about suiting the manipulator's advantage or purpose only, often at the expense of the victim.
Yet, it is often difficult to know when you are being manipulated: manipulators do all they can to convince you that you are the one who is to benefit most from their actions and that they are acting in good faith.
If we were aware that we are being manipulated, would we allow ourselves to fall victim to it - and how would we defend ourselves against it?
That is where this book comes in handy: it explains the tricks manipulators use and teaches you how to best defend and
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g. Show their interest to find out as much as possible about the other person. For<br />
example by asking: “is there anything else in addition to that?”<br />
When somebody repeatedly tells you how great you are, how smart <strong>and</strong> beautiful, how much you st<strong>and</strong><br />
to gain from a deal he is proposing, what extra-ordinary benefits you are about to reap, … then you<br />
better ask yourself what he wants from you, or what he will gain from the deal he is offering you.<br />
Beware of people with double st<strong>and</strong>ards: For example somebody who “never lies to his friends” …<br />
admits that he does lie to his enemies. In fact this kind of people in reality will also lie to his friends if<br />
this seems convenient to him.<br />
People with double st<strong>and</strong>ards cannot be trusted. Often, they can be recognized by the stories they are<br />
telling, because they will change their stories in order to fit the purposes at h<strong>and</strong>.<br />
3. Negative reinforcement:<br />
involves removing one from a negative situation as a reward, e.g. "You won't have to do your<br />
homework if you allow me to do this to you."<br />
Reinforcement is superior to punishment in altering behavior. Reinforcement results in lasting<br />
behavioral modification, whereas punishment changes behavior only temporarily <strong>and</strong> presents many<br />
detrimental side effects.<br />
Positive reinforcers<br />
A positive reinforcer is a consequence that increases the frequency of a behavior or maintains the<br />
frequency. What is reinforcing is defined by what happens to the frequency of the behavior. It has<br />
nothing to do with whether the organism finds the reinforcer "pleasant" or not. For example, if a child<br />
gets slapped for saying a "naughty" word but the frequency of naughty words increases, the slap is a<br />
positive reinforcer.<br />
A "pleasant" consequence is not necessarily a positive reinforcer. Getting a birthday gift is not a<br />
positive reinforcer. There is no behavior that will increase (or be maintained) in frequency. When<br />
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