Social and Psychological Manipulation - Dean Amory
Unlike people who are trying to influence, persuade or convince others, manipulators work with unfair means to get what they want. They do not respect the personal rights of their victims. They violate the victim's integrity, work with hidden agendas and deliberately use dishonest tricks like faulty reasoning, coercion, blackmail and lying in an attempt to control the victim's actions. Manipulation is about suiting the manipulator's advantage or purpose only, often at the expense of the victim. Yet, it is often difficult to know when you are being manipulated: manipulators do all they can to convince you that you are the one who is to benefit most from their actions and that they are acting in good faith. If we were aware that we are being manipulated, would we allow ourselves to fall victim to it - and how would we defend ourselves against it? That is where this book comes in handy: it explains the tricks manipulators use and teaches you how to best defend and
Unlike people who are trying to influence, persuade or convince others, manipulators work with unfair means to get what they want. They do not respect the personal rights of their victims. They violate the victim's integrity, work with hidden agendas and deliberately use dishonest tricks like faulty reasoning, coercion, blackmail and lying in an attempt to control the victim's actions. Manipulation is about suiting the manipulator's advantage or purpose only, often at the expense of the victim.
Yet, it is often difficult to know when you are being manipulated: manipulators do all they can to convince you that you are the one who is to benefit most from their actions and that they are acting in good faith.
If we were aware that we are being manipulated, would we allow ourselves to fall victim to it - and how would we defend ourselves against it?
That is where this book comes in handy: it explains the tricks manipulators use and teaches you how to best defend and
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3.5 How to deal with a manipulative personality<br />
Acknowledge the manipulative attempt <strong>and</strong> respond calmly<br />
The best way to deal with a manipulative personality is to acknowledge their ways outright <strong>and</strong><br />
respond calmly, <strong>and</strong> even turn their own tactics against them. The manipulator is counting on you to be<br />
surprised, confused, <strong>and</strong> overreact to them, so don’t be. If they say “After all that I’ve done for you!”<br />
reply “I’m very grateful for all that you’ve done. Why do you think I’m not? That’s not very nice of<br />
you.”<br />
Once the manipulator realizes that they can’t affect you in the way that they want, <strong>and</strong> can’t influence<br />
your thoughts or actions, they will move on. And even if they don’t — you’re safe. <strong>Manipulation</strong> is<br />
all about control, <strong>and</strong> once you figure out the manipulative personality, they are no longer in control.<br />
Listen to yourself.<br />
In all of the possible manipulative situations, whether or not the signs are easy for you to spot, it is very<br />
important to listen to yourself <strong>and</strong> how you feel about the situation. Do you feel oppressed, pressured,<br />
obliged to do things for this person that you'd rather not do? Does their behavior seem to impact you<br />
endlessly, so that after one form of assistance, you are expected to grant yet more help <strong>and</strong> support?<br />
Your answers should serve as a true guide to where your relationship with this person is headed next.<br />
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