Issue 2 - O

International Student
Brotchie
Eric Brotchie is currently studying a Master of Book and Digital Media Studies at Leiden University. He blogs for student-run
blog The Leidener. A part-time historian, part-time sociologist and full-time idiot, he is kind of British, kind of Australian, and kind
of confused. Here’s why...
I just don’t get it...
There are plenty of things I could tell you
about Leiden; about how international
students flock here from far and wide,
party hard, see the sights, live, love and
learn. I am one of them. I came here with
big eyes, an eager tongue, was ready to
make the most of my studies and feast on
Dutch culture like a fat kid in a candy
shop. When I leave in seven months’ time,
I’m sure it will be with memories, friends,
cellulite and debt in equal measure. These
days will all become part of an enormous
blur of moments that in five years’ time will
be “when I was in Leiden”, or “back when I
was doing my Masters”. Indeed, just about
every one of us will go back to at least one
dear old parent somewhere and sit around
the family table, awkwardly trying to
explain what they’ve been doing for the
last semester or, in some cases, three
whole years. In a few weeks we’ll probably
be at home enjoying Christmas, trying to
decide what to tell people about our time
here. At the end of the day, most of us will
probably leave Leiden around the
twentieth more confused about Holland
than when we got here, which probably
isn’t really a bad thing. For future
reference though, here’s some things
we’re really going to struggle to explain:
1. The Mayflower
Although my parents have many vices,
one thing they did very well was not give
birth to me in the United States. I’m not an
American and I don’t really get the appeal,
but if I was, I guess I’d like to know about
the famous Pilgrim Fathers, and all that
happened for the formation of the ‘Free
World’ on a little ship that sailed from
Leiden. From the perspective of a
complete ignoramus (read ‘my
perspective’) the plot of the Mayflower
story seems as littered with holes as the
hull of the ship itself. The main one is this:
If the pilgrims were in Leiden as refugees
from England, glorying in the Dutch
hospitality complete with ample tulips,
windmills and stroopwafels, what could
possibly have possessed them risk their
lives on the high seas on a seemingly
impossible mission to found a new colony
among warring indigenous Americans?
One of my sources cites ‘old age’ as a
reason the pilgrims had to leave...
Needless to say when I turn 70, the last
thing I’ll be doing is jumping ship to a new
continent. Please explain.
2. Zwarte Piet
This is one you already know. Black Peter,
Saint Nick’s vaudevillian helper, is a
completely inexplicable and widely
offensive character for international
students. We get into the spirit while we’re
here, but those smiles we put on are in
fact well-trained masks that hide the true
level of cringe we all feel about all this. We
are sensitive new-age people, and we
honestly think that Piet is kind of, well,
how to put it nicely... racist. When mother
and father back home see our photos with
Pete, they might wonder exactly how and
when their little bundle of joy began to
harbour such antisocial views. I guess
maybe we should show those ones to our
extant great grandparents only...
3. Fraternities
Of course we go to a Quintus or Minerva
party here and there, but for many
international students in Leiden there’s a
certain mystique about fraternities. No-one
ever really tells us the rules about these
houses filled with bad hair gel and makeup
in which young Dutch people coexist.
We naturally understand that some of
these places are vastly cooler than others,
and that the ‘others’ are in fact delighted
not to be ‘cool’ and would rather just be
‘normal’. To us it all frankly seems like a
rather too grown-up version of playing
“who-likes-who?” in a primary school
playground. Good luck with that, and be
The Angler – Year 8 – Issue 2 24