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Between Us
By Abraham Puthumana, SJ
Where do I find joy as a priest? As a newly
ordained priest I used to help out on weekends
in an urban parish in the U.S. The main task was hearing
confessions the whole of Saturday and helping out with
the Sunday Mass. One evening a woman, while leaving the
confessional, thanked me for hearing her confession. There
was such radiance on her face as she spoke. It was as if life was
beginning afresh for her. Since then in many parish retreats and
charismatic conventions I have had the privilege of helping
with the sacrament of reconciliation and have had similar
experiences. To be a minister of reconciliation has
a source of great joy for me.
Another such experience was a
psycho-spiritual workshop and retreat
in a mission parish. The participants
were villagers, some educated, some
illiterate. During one of the healing
sessions a young married woman,
27 years old, with three small
children, deserted by husband
was looking very depressed and
dejected. At the end of the session
she said that she has decided to
take hold of her life and bring up
the children well. There was a glow
on her face that no one could miss the
positive shift that had happened. Events
been
like these make priestly ministry a life-enhancing experience.
What gives immense joy is seeing others come alive, through
what God enables me to do in spiritual direction, counselling,
psychotherapy, sacramental ministry or ministry of leadership.
There is something I really miss in priesthood. When
I visit my married brothers and sisters or others happily
married there is a touch of pain - of missing the intimacy that
they seem to enjoy. I also miss what could be called mutual
sharing and supervision in ministry. I have seen Jesuits in
other ministries come together periodically to share their
successes, challenges and insights and thus grow in the
process. As for me this has happened occasionally but not as
regularly and as frequently as I would like to. Such mutual
exchange would help us to grow in depth, knowledge and
commitment. Underneath this sense of loss is the desire to
be part of a sharing, vibrant, transparent and apostolically
alive and committed brotherhood. The absence of such an
atmosphere makes me feel less alive and less enthusiastic.
Personally I feel I am a long way off from being like the
compassionate Jesus. I feel I lack inner freedom to a large
degree. This results in nursing grudges, harboring
resentment and anger. The challenge for me is
to be reconciled within and be an agent of
reconciliation to others.
Another area I feel challenged
is consumerism. There is so much
pressure to buy things advertised
in TV or newspapers. The result is
a craving for possession. To stand
up to this pull is a great challenge
to me.
When I look around, I see a
lot of challenges facing us at various
levels. I feel challenged to be a voice against the trend
within the Church, and even among the religious, to
seek power, prestige and possessions. I am still searching
for ways to be authentic, sympathetic and understanding
towards those whom I minister to. I am aware that my own
unintegrated shadows at work within me may make me a
prophet of doom. I should rather become a healer of broken
humanity who witnesses to Jesus’ self-giving love.
To see
people
come alive
Abraham Puthumana, SJ is the Rector of Xavier Institute of Social
Research (XISR), Patna.
•
CARTOON CORNER
“Most dinosaurs were vegetarian
and they never smoked tobacco
or drank alcohol - and where are
they now?”
Courtesy: www.glasbergen.com
JIVAN: News and Views of Jesuits in India OCTOBER 2012 11