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BOSS MAGAZINE
Use Eye Contact
to Get the Contact
By Fiana Andrews
As you enter the room, you survey
partygoers and assess the people in your
line of vision. You make eye contact with
a few people and when you do, your
eyes momentarily open widely and your
eyebrows rise and fall in an attempt to
acknowledge their presence. Shortly,
your eyes focus on someone you find
attractive. You store information about
him and then rank the person based on
interest. Once he ranks high, you then
decide to take a second look. Your eyes
meet with his, your heart beats faster
and your face begins to warm up from
embarrassment. “Oh no, they caught
me looking,” you say to yourself as you
break eye contact and quickly look away.
You are dying to look again, so steal
another look. You are still happy with
what you see and now you have this
urge to speak to him. So you look again
with intent this time and you try to
maintain a constant gaze. This proves to
be uncomfortable so you keep the eye
contact brief.
“Should I approach them?” you ask
yourself. As you evaluate the interaction
between the two of you, you conclude
that the established eye contact
between him and you was held longer
this time. You assume mutual interest.
You notice them at the refreshments
table. “This is my chance to approach,”
you reason.
You make your way over to initiate
contact. “Wow, look at this spread!” you
comment out loud about the variety of
food selections and hoping that he will
respond. He takes the bait and chimes
in with agreement. You then quickly
ask a question while you still have his
attention, and to your luck he responds.
As you attempt to maintain the
conversation, you gauge the amount of
eye contact. Is it minimal? Is he looking
away? If the answers are both yes, then
you know to conclude the conversation;
however, this is not the case.
The eye contact is appropriate, and
he nods his head at the right times
confirming his attentiveness. In fact,
you catch him lowering his eyes to
your mouth, which is a sign to you
that his gaze is now moving outside
of the social boundaries to the more
intimate ones. As you conclude the
conversation, you share how much
you have enjoyed it and that you
would really like to talk with him again.
You exchange numbers and judge
that you have successfully created an
approachable opportunity.
When it comes to the science of
approachability, many would agree that
eye contact is a key to unlocking the
door to approachable opportunities.
In fact, eye contact has been said to
be one of the best ways to appear
approachable. So, when your eyes
connect with another person’s eyes,
you have just provided an opportunity
to be approached. In addition, the
“approacher” is able to interpret
your eye contact as an invitation to
approach you.
The above scenario is an example
of what goes on in the head of the
“approacher.” As you can see, it’s nerveracking.
So why not make it easier for
the other person by returning the eye
contact, especially if you are interested.
Notice that the “approacher” waited
after eye contact was established a
second time before he considered to
approach. Even after he approached,
they continued to evaluate what the
eyes communicated. Although the
above example shows a successful
approach, there will be times when the
“approacher” can misread the cues and
get rejected.
If you are not interested in the
“approacher,” keep your eye contact
minimal and if the “approacher”
approaches you, keep it businesslike
and make sure your eyes remain
at the same eye level as the other
person’s eyes.
A good rule of thumb is to practice
making and maintaining eye contact
with anyone you meet. Once you
become good at that, add a friendly
smile to your efforts. Once that
feels natural, start saying hello.
By the time you meet someone
you’re interested in, you’ll be ready,
willing and able to confidently and
comfortably approach the person or
be approached.
www.approach2link.com
Approach2link is a concept that was
developed to address the issues that
men and woman complain about which
is men not approaching women and
women not being approachable. We
help by sharing tips on how to be more
approachable and on how to approach.
Approach2link also plans and promotes
events that create approachable
opportunities. Events that create
approachable opportunities are events
that promote interaction among
individuals.
Follow @approach2link on Twitter,
Youtube, Instagram and Facebook
WINTER 2013 BOSS MAGAZINE
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