1. The 15-Second Principle

Page 197
and crawled into my dressing room. After sitting there for a while I somehow pulled myself together and
thought more about the review. Well, the good news was that the reviewer at least killed me quickly. He
could have dragged it on for pages. I then thought about the reality of my performance. Could I put my
ego aside and learn anything from the review? I knew I wasn't "woodenly," but what was I? What I
realized was that what the reviewer had seen and called wood was a full-blown case of fear and terror.
I also realized that what was causing a lot of my stage fright was my inauthenticity. In a desire to please
the director, I was trying to do things onstage without the necessary emotions to back them up. I was
therefore forcing and pushing my feelings. The result was poor, uncomfortable, and strained acting. This, in
turn, helped to fuel my fear and terror.
What I decided to do instead was to become more integrated and real with my actions and emotions.
While I was still going to deliver the correct lines, stand where I was supposed to stand, and sing the songs
correctly, I was not going to overact by attempting to push and fake emotions that weren't there. I was
determined to act authentically regardless of how terrible and boring my acting might appear.
Miraculously, I got through the entire second show true to my new commitment. Although I didn't have a
great time, it certainly was less painful. Afterward, fearing that the director was going to strangle me for
changing my entire approach, I attempted to slip out the back of the theater. Unfortunately, he caught me
just before I could escape. He grabbed my arm, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "That was more
like it."
More like it? You mean I had to go 180 degrees away from what I thought he wanted, in order to have him
say, "That was more like it"? Wow! What a concept. What I learned from my Barroca experience was that
while we obviously need feedback from others, ultimately, we must get comfortable with our own technique
and form of self-expression. If, by attempting to please others, we are causing pain, struggle, and
inauthenticity within ourselves, we must seek out a more truthful, authentic, and nurturing way to live and
perform. Just as the horse must come before the cart, in life, comfort and integrity must come before
pleasing anyone else.