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Bisson_rucker_billys.. - Rudy Rucker

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“Water,” said the plant. Billy didn’t have to ask.<br />

The teachers picked up the pot and looked for a speaker. They couldn’t find one.<br />

They frowned and shook their heads. “Ventriloquism is not science,” they said.<br />

“What’s ventriloquism?” asked Billy.<br />

“It means you are making it talk.”<br />

“I am not,” said Billy. “It’s the stick.”<br />

“Prove it,” said the teachers.<br />

Billy pulled the stick out. The plant didn’t say anything.<br />

“See?” said Billy.<br />

§§<br />

“A plant that doesn’t talk doesn’t prove anything,” said the teachers. “You are<br />

disqualified.”<br />

“What’s disqualified?” asked Billy.<br />

“It means you don’t get the Science Prize.”<br />

Billy thought about that. It made him mad. He stuck the stick back in the dirt.<br />

“Fuck you,” said the plant.<br />

“What?” said the teachers.<br />

“Fuck a bunch of teachers,” said the plant.<br />

The teachers sent Billy home. They made him take his plant and his jacket with<br />

him.<br />

§§<br />

“What happened?” asked Billy’s mother.<br />

68

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