Bisson_rucker_billys.. - Rudy Rucker

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”You are too big,” said Billy. “That’s because you are all the way across the room,” said the midget. “Come over here and you will see.” Billy went to the window and the window got big. The midget was small again. It was standing on the garbage can. “Open the window,” it said. Billy opened the window and the midget climbed in. Billy had to help. They played for a while but it wasn’t as much fun as before. “Do another magic trick,” said Billy. The midget did. It was the same trick as before. “Is that the only one you know?” “That’s twice as many as you know,” said the magic midget. Billy’s mother knocked on the door. “What’s going on in there?” she asked. “Nothing,” said Billy. §§ “You have to clean your room,” she said. “Your father is coming home from jail today.” “I have to clean my room,” said Billy. §§ “That’s easy,” said the midget. He gave Billy a magic mop. Soon the room was clean, in an instant. “Cool,” said Billy. He liked the midget again. “Now we can play.” 74
“I don’t want to play with you anymore,” said the midget. “I want to watch TV.” “There’s nothing on,” said Billy. His feelings were hurt. “I don’t care,” said the midget. “I like TV anyway.” The midget went into the living room, where the TV was. When Billy’s mother saw it coming, she screamed. “I don’t care,” said the midget. “I want to watch TV.” It sat on the couch and picked up the remote. “He’s a magic midget,” said Billy. “Look.” He gave his mother the magic mop. Soon the house was clean. “Now can we watch TV?” asked Billy. He was sitting on the couch beside the magic midget. They were both the same size. The midget made Billy’s mother disappear. “Now we can watch TV,” it said. “I thought you didn’t know any more tricks,” said Billy. §§ Then it got closer and she saw that it was small. “Go outside,” she said. “I have to clean the house. Billy’s father is getting out of jail today.” “Why is he wearing yellow pants?” asked Billy’s mother. “No,” said Billy’s mother. “Play outside. It’s not raining any more.” “That’s not a trick,” said the midget. “Show me how to work the remote.” §§ They watched TV for a while. There was nothing on but the midget didn’t care. “I like TV,” it said. 75
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Text copyright © Terry Bisson 2009
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BILLY AND THE ANTS It was a beautif
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“Coming!” he said. §§ “Your
Page 9 and 10:
There was an ant between him and th
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Then it snapped Billy in half. “W
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“I never said that,” said the f
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“He doesn’t do things,” said
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“No you didn’t,” Billy said.
Page 20 and 21:
“Of course not,” said the fairy
Page 23 and 24: BILLY AND THE BULLDOZER Billy had a
Page 25 and 26: The sand was already dry. Some of i
Page 27: “What happened next door?” aske
Page 30 and 31: “Hey,” said Billy. The unicorn
Page 32 and 33: “After you go to bed,” said the
Page 34 and 35: “Girls like unicorns,” said Bil
Page 37 and 38: BILLY AND THE SPACEMEN “Look what
Page 39 and 40: “It’s a spear,” said the spac
Page 41: Billy knocked them into the water w
Page 44 and 45: “Of course not,” said Clyde.
Page 46 and 47: “Playing with dolls,” said Bill
Page 48 and 49: “I’m sorry I called you a sissy
Page 50: “We all make mistakes,” said th
Page 53 and 54: They gave Billy an axe and a long o
Page 55 and 56: As soon as he stepped ashore, Billy
Page 58 and 59: BILLY AND THE TIME SKATEBOARD “Go
Page 60 and 61: He grabbed it back. He pointed it t
Page 63 and 64: BILLY AND THE TALKING PLANT One day
Page 65 and 66: He took the magazine to the store a
Page 67 and 68: “Eat your turkey,” said Billy
Page 69: “Nothing,” said Billy. “We go
Page 72 and 73: Billy hid behind the garbage can.
Page 76 and 77: After a while Billy got hungry. “
Page 78 and 79: He got his gun out of the closet. I
Page 80 and 81: The clowns made Billy’s father la
Page 83 and 84: BILLY AND THE FLYING SAUCER “Hey,
Page 85: “Sorry,” said Vernon. He held u
Page 88 and 89: “You must be hooked,” said the
Page 91 and 92: BILLY AND THE WITHC One day Billy
Page 93 and 94: “Late again!” said Billy’s mo
Page 95 and 96: He shot her through the head. He wa
Page 98 and 99: BILLY IN DINOSAUR CITY “Pack up y
Page 100 and 101: The next day Billy went to dinosaur
Page 102 and 103: The next day, Billy took his magazi
Page 104 and 105: “Aren’t you going to school?”
Page 106 and 107: About the Author Terry Bisson has w
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