Bisson_rucker_billys.. - Rudy Rucker

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“You must be hooked,” said the store owner. “No smoking in the store.” The store owner was smoking, though. He blew smoke in Billy’s face and smiled. He was as mean as Vernon. Pretty soon the FBI arrived. They arrived in a helicopter. They were about to handcuff Billy when a flying saucer flew over the town. It was flying low. Everybody looked up. The FBI and the store owner too. That was their mistake. The saucer had a Forgetting Ray. It made the FBI forget about taking Billy to jail. Billy ran home. He was breathing a sigh of relief all the way. “Where’s my magazine?” asked Vernon. “I forgot it,” said Billy. “Then no cigarette for you.” §§ “I don’t care,” said Billy. “I don’t want one anymore. That flying saucer made me forget I was hooked. It had a Forgetting Ray.” “I saw the flying saucer too,” said Vernon. “How come I didn’t forget I’m in a wheelchair?” §§ “That’s because you don’t have any feet,” said Billy. “I want my Dale Earnhardt helmet back.” Vernon gave Billy his helmet back. Vernon had forgotten it was his. He had even forgotten he was mean. 88
Billy looked inside the helmet before he put it on. Vernon’s mother had cleaned out all the puke. Billy had come out ahead. §§ “Pass the turkey,” said Billy. It was supper time. “Feeling better?” asked his mother. “Yes ma’am,” said Billy. No more cigarettes for him! 89
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Text copyright © Terry Bisson 2009
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BILLY AND THE ANTS It was a beautif
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“Coming!” he said. §§ “Your
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There was an ant between him and th
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Then it snapped Billy in half. “W
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“I never said that,” said the f
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“He doesn’t do things,” said
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“No you didn’t,” Billy said.
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“Of course not,” said the fairy
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BILLY AND THE BULLDOZER Billy had a
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The sand was already dry. Some of i
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“What happened next door?” aske
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“Hey,” said Billy. The unicorn
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“After you go to bed,” said the
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“Girls like unicorns,” said Bil
Page 37 and 38: BILLY AND THE SPACEMEN “Look what
Page 39 and 40: “It’s a spear,” said the spac
Page 41: Billy knocked them into the water w
Page 44 and 45: “Of course not,” said Clyde.
Page 46 and 47: “Playing with dolls,” said Bill
Page 48 and 49: “I’m sorry I called you a sissy
Page 50: “We all make mistakes,” said th
Page 53 and 54: They gave Billy an axe and a long o
Page 55 and 56: As soon as he stepped ashore, Billy
Page 58 and 59: BILLY AND THE TIME SKATEBOARD “Go
Page 60 and 61: He grabbed it back. He pointed it t
Page 63 and 64: BILLY AND THE TALKING PLANT One day
Page 65 and 66: He took the magazine to the store a
Page 67 and 68: “Eat your turkey,” said Billy
Page 69: “Nothing,” said Billy. “We go
Page 72 and 73: Billy hid behind the garbage can.
Page 74 and 75: ”You are too big,” said Billy.
Page 76 and 77: After a while Billy got hungry. “
Page 78 and 79: He got his gun out of the closet. I
Page 80 and 81: The clowns made Billy’s father la
Page 83 and 84: BILLY AND THE FLYING SAUCER “Hey,
Page 85: “Sorry,” said Vernon. He held u
Page 91 and 92: BILLY AND THE WITHC One day Billy
Page 93 and 94: “Late again!” said Billy’s mo
Page 95 and 96: He shot her through the head. He wa
Page 98 and 99: BILLY IN DINOSAUR CITY “Pack up y
Page 100 and 101: The next day Billy went to dinosaur
Page 102 and 103: The next day, Billy took his magazi
Page 104 and 105: “Aren’t you going to school?”
Page 106 and 107: About the Author Terry Bisson has w
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Bisson_rucker_billys.. - Rudy Rucker

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