Bisson_rucker_billys.. - Rudy Rucker

“Look in the kitchen,” said the midget.
Billy and his father looked in the kitchen. There was a magic pot on the stove. It
was filled with beans.
“We had beans in jail,” said Billy’s father. “I was looking forward to turkey.”
“You two shut up,” said the midget. “I am trying to watch TV.”
“You shut up yourself,” said Billy’s father. He’d had enough.
He jumped on the midget and tried to get the remote, but the midget
strong and wouldn’t let go.
After a while, Billy’s father gave up.
was too
“You never should have let that midget into the house,” he said to Billy. They were
in the kitchen eating beans.
“He came in the window,” said Billy. “It wasn’t my fault.”
“It was so,” said Billy’s father. “Now I’m going to have to kill him.”
“Good idea,” said Billy. He was glad his father was home.
Billy’s father sprinkled poison on the beans and gave some to the magic midget.
“Here,” he said. “Make yourself at home.”
He was only pretending to be friendly.
The magic midget ate the beans but didn’t die. Instead he smacked his mouth.
“Poison doesn’t hurt me,” he said. “I’m a magic midget.”
“We’ll have to think of something else,” said Billy’s father.
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