Through Their Eyes: Domestic Violence and It's Impact on Children

<strong>Through</strong> <strong>Their</strong> <strong>Eyes</strong>
• 44 percent of
parents reported
that their children
watched an entire
violent incident
• 83 percent of
children overheard
abuse from another
room
• Over 1/2 of children
were threatened
with physical harm
• Over 1/3 of children
were accidentally
injured
• Over 1/4 were hurt
intentionally by the
abuser when they
tried to intervene 10
A variant of this is that children
overhear violence happening in
another room. Sergeant Deborah
Nicholson of the Seattle Police
Department’s <strong>Domestic</strong> <strong>Violence</strong> Unit
notes that children are often the ones
who call 911 when violence happens,
either with or without their parents’
approval. In the drawing on page 6, a
young girl huddles under her blankets
in her bedroom, listening to her father
abuse her mother <strong>and</strong> praying for it to
stop.
Children also see the aftermath of
violence in their homes—broken
furniture <strong>and</strong> windows, injuries <strong>and</strong>
emotional disturbances in themselves
<strong>and</strong> in their mother. Anita’s 6-year-old
daughter began crying when a favorite
toy was found on the floor, broken,
after a violent episode.
Children can also become involved
when they are used as a tool by the
perpetrator of the abuse. This can be
either physical or emotional. In the
stalking scenario, Larry knew that
his children would report back to
their mother about his behavior, thus
making her frightened for herself <strong>and</strong>
the safety of her children. Another
child was told by her father that she
would receive one dollar for every
time she made her mother cry.
In Ziba’s story, Ziba’s husb<strong>and</strong> chose
to yell <strong>and</strong> throw things at Ziba during
Marjan’s birthday party. The police
arrived, <strong>and</strong> the incident ended with
Marjan’s father being arrested. Once
she stopped worrying about her
mother’s safety, Marjan was mortally
embarrassed by her father’s behavior.
She worried that her friends, who
witnessed the incident, would stop
liking her. When their parents found
out about the incident, friends were
not allowed to come to her house,
which was exactly what the batterer
wanted in the first place. He did not
consider Marjan’s feelings or social
status at all—he was frustrated by not
being in control of his house.
Obviously, not all batterers or
incidents are so straightforward or
manipulative, but battering behaviors
are always a choice <strong>and</strong> are most
often done so that the batterer can
assert his control.
These experiences can have profound
<strong>and</strong> damaging psychological <strong>and</strong>
physical effects on children. We will
look at some of the ways that children
can suffer from these experiences in
Chapter 2.
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