Through Their Eyes: Domestic Violence and It's Impact on Children

Chapter 4
<strong>Domestic</strong> <strong>Violence</strong> Program was
instrumental in developing a piece of
legislation for Washington State that
charges abusers a fine for incidents,
with the money going to fund
domestic violence programs. This is
one example of how new funding can
be developed for innovative services.
It is also important that we change
our attitudes about women who
are affected by domestic violence
<strong>and</strong> hold batterers accountable for
their actions. As a culture, we tend
to blame the victim. Women <strong>and</strong>
their children often face significant
financial, legal, <strong>and</strong> safety barriers
when they leave their batterer. Many
times, women will stay in a violent
relationship to protect their children
from having unsupervised contact
with the unsafe
parent.
Exposure
to abuse is
harmful, but it
is important
to remember
that the
perpetrator
of the abuse
is the one at
fault. Women in
these situations
are generally
very protective
mothers. According
to Dr. Edleson, many
mothers take the child
or children’s welfare into
account. 19 Some battered
mothers may have difficulty parenting
due to severe depression or substance
abuse, sometimes associated with
the effects of the abuse on them. But
other battered mothers have been
shown to parent effectively even
under the stress of abuse.
National experts have stated
emphatically that the most effective
<strong>and</strong> immediate way for social services
to increase safety for children who
have experienced violence in the home
is to support the autonomy of the
non-abusive parent. In most cases, the
mother is the victim, the primary caregiver,
<strong>and</strong> the one most concerned
about the child(ren)’s safety.
Supporting her autonomy means:
• Holding the abuser accountable
for the abuse, <strong>and</strong> asking, “Whose
In 2000, the
Federal Office of
Juvenile Justice
<strong>and</strong> Delinquency
Prevention devised a
framework to guide
agencies, advocates,
<strong>and</strong> individuals
involved with helping
children affected
by violence. These
principles can help
us build safe places
within our community
for victims of
violence. They also
help us respond
more effectively <strong>and</strong>
efficiently to victims.
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