Autumn 2011 - Mandy Mazliah

Raising children
We name this child...
The safe arrival of your
new baby is certainly worth
celebrating. But what’s the
best way to do it?
Do you want a christening?
Many parents like the idea of
marking their baby’s arrival with a
church ceremony - but a baptism
does involve making promises
about bringing him or her up as
a Christian, and some vicars and
most Catholic priests take these
promises very seriously and may
not agree to a baptism unless you
are going to attend church at least
from time to time in the future. If
you feel comfortable with this, a
baptism is a wonderful way to mark
a child’s birth. Many churches carry
out baptisms as part of their main
Sunday worship, so there’s a real
sense of the whole community
celebrating with you.
Have you thought of a blessing?
Another option is the Anglican
service of thanksgiving and
welcome, which gives thanks for
the new baby’s arrival and calls on
God’s help for his or her life ahead.
This blessing can be held apart from
the main Sunday service, and is on
the increase as a way of marking a
baby’s birth without the strings of a
full-blown baptism. It might be worth
considering if you’re not strongly
religious or if your family is of mixed
faith.
How about a naming ceremony?
There are other options for nonbelievers
or those who don’t feel
comfortable with a church setting
such as a humanist naming
ceremony, or a civil christening.
These ceremonies can be tailored
to suit the family concerned.
Parents can put together their own
service including poetry, music
and readings, and the venue can
be anywhere - in your own home,
outside or in a hired hall.
Just as in a christening, you can
choose godparent-equivalents
(sometimes known as supporters or
mentors) and the ceremony can be
as formal or informal as you choose,
and the BHA can - for a fee - provide
a trained celebrant to lead the
proceedings. For more ideas on how
to organise a naming ceremony, visit
www.humanism.org.uk
Timing
If you’re having a religious
ceremony the timings may well be
predetermined. A Jewish Brit, where
a boy is circumcised, has to be held
when he’s eight days old. Sikhs
celebrate within the first 40 days of a
child’s birth. But if you’re not tied to
any religious practise you may feel
you’ve got too much on your plate to
hold a party too. Why not wait until
your baby is six or nine months, or
even a year old before you lay on
a celebration - you’ll probably find
you enjoy it a lot more if the stressful
early months are behind you.
Where to party
Afterwards, you’ll want to celebrate.
If you’re having a church ceremony,
you might think about the church
hall. If you’ve got the money you
might want to take everyone out for
lunch or hire a local bar. There’s a lot
to be said for choosing an informal
venue such as your house or even
a pub with a garden. Chances are
there will be other children present,
and a more a more casual setting
means that they can run around and
enjoy themselves, too.
What to wear
Some families, like the Royals,
even have an ancient garment,
which has been worn by generation
after generation. It may need a
good clean but there’s an important
symbolism in having the garment
as a thread which has run through
your family’s history for many years.
Or you might like to start your own
tradition by investing in a baptismal
robe, which your child could use for
his or her own offspring in the future.
Whatever you choose for your baby
to wear, wait until the last possible
moment to put it on, and get some
photographs taken straight away.
We had a naming ceremony
Eleanor and her husband Hugh
chose a naming ceremony for their
daughter Thea.
‘Thea’s birth was such a momentous
occasion, we wanted to celebrate
with friends and family,’ explains
Eleanor. Organised religion has a
good line in rites of passage but
we don’t have a faith so we chose
the DIY route and held a naming
ceremony for Thea when she was
four months old.
The Church provides the venues not
just the words so there is reasonable
amount of work if you go it alone.
We chose a local hall which offered
catering ovens, space for a theatre
style set up as well as a buffet
and a neutral décor that could be
enlivened with simple decorations.
We hired a couple of local students
to help with the catering so liberating
us to enjoy the event.
12 Newsletter Winter