Autumn 2011 - Mandy Mazliah

Raising children
I also have two children from a
previous marriage – they are 12
and nine and at ages where they
are great fun to be with. They live
a couple of hours’ drive away and
we usually only see them on the
weekend. I expect that I’ll be able
to see them a bit more often, get
to more school assemblies and
afternoon sports now that I will not
be in full time paid work. So that will
be another great positive for all of
us. It’s also very important to me
that my older children get to see as
much of Jonah, their relatively new
little brother, as possible. I want all
my children to know each other and
be able to play together as siblings
do – maybe when Jonah’s older he
can borrow their car instead of ours!
My wife is of course supportive of
the idea that I look after Jonah –
otherwise this wouldn’t be possible.
And I do realise that it’s not without
some sadness that she is going
back to work full-time. Ideally she
would work part-time but at the
moment, financially that really isn’t
an option. My wife jokes (I think) that
she expects her dinner on the table
when she gets home from work,
all the washing clean and folded
away, toys under control and the
house immaculate. Talk about Great
Expectations!
We do still need to talk a bit more
about who is going to do what and
when, but our general expectations
are that I will take on much more of
managing the household, especially
on a day-to-day basis while she is at
work. I like to think that I do my fair
share of housework and managing
now anyway, but I suspect that
there are lots of things I have yet to
discover that my wife does each day
just to keep the house and Jonah
presentable. I am looking forward
to discovering these things too and
maybe finding an easier and quicker
way to do them!
I think one of the biggest challenges
for me in moving from a full-time
office environment to a home work
environment will be to build up a
new support network as I am fairly
shy. I have a good support network
of friends at work and I think I will
really miss them, even though I
am sure Jonah and I will make it
into work for lunch on occasion
especially as my wife works in the
same office.
I am thinking positively though, as
I know the NCT is a great starting
place for meeting new friends
with kids and providing parents
with support. My wife has really
embraced the NCT, using the
breastfeeding helpline, attending
coffee mornings and, more recently,
volunteering for roles at the local
branch. I might just do something
similar. Also, my younger sister
is having a baby in March, so am
looking forward to seeing her new
baby and we can be ‘ladies that
lunch’ together!
I am looking forward to taking this
great opportunity, one that not too
many Dads get to experience. I
am sure it will be hard work and
frustrating at times but overall, I am
pretty sure it will be the most exciting
and rewarding two years of my life!
Wish me luck!
Newsletter Winter 15