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Peter Watts 127 Blindsight<br />

abuse—fragmentary personae offered up to suffer rapes and<br />

beatings while the child behind took to some unknowable<br />

sanctuary in the folds of the brain. It was both survival strategy<br />

and ritual self-sacrifice: powerless souls hacking themselves to<br />

pieces, offering up quivering chunks of self in the desperate hope<br />

that the vengeful gods called Mom or Dad might not be insatiable.<br />

None of it had been real, as it turned out. Or at least, none of it<br />

had been confirmed. The experts of the day had been little more<br />

than witch doctors dancing through improvised rituals:<br />

meandering free-form interviews full of leading questions and<br />

nonverbal cues, scavenger hunts through regurgitated childhoods.<br />

Sometimes a shot of lithium or haloperidol when the beads and<br />

rattles didn't work. The technology to map minds was barely off<br />

the ground; the technology to edit them was years away. So the<br />

therapists and psychiatrists poked at their victims and invented<br />

names for things they didn't understand, and argued over the<br />

shrines of Freud and Klein and the old Astrologers. Doing their<br />

very best to sound like practitioners of Science.<br />

Inevitably, it was Science that turned them all into road kill;<br />

MPD was a half-forgotten fad even before the advent of synaptic<br />

rewiring. But alter was a word from that time, and its resonance<br />

had persisted. Among those who remembered the tale, alter was<br />

codespeak for betrayal and human sacrifice. Alter meant cannon<br />

fodder.<br />

Imagining the topology of the Gang's coexisting souls, I could<br />

see why Sascha embraced the mythology. I could see why Susan<br />

let her. After all, there was nothing implausible about the concept;<br />

the Gang's very existence proved that much. And when you've<br />

been peeled off from a pre-existing entity, sculpted from<br />

nonexistence straight into adulthood—a mere fragment of<br />

personhood, without even a full-time body to call your own—you<br />

can be forgiven a certain amount of anger. Sure you're all equal,<br />

all in it together. Sure, no persona is better than any other. Susan's<br />

still the only one with a surname.<br />

Better to direct that resentment at old grudges, real or imagined;<br />

less problematic, at least, than taking it out on someone who shares<br />

the same flesh.

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