Rumbling on performativity_Frits Simon

able selective mixture of attitudes, who a person is during and due to the interaction.
The ‘I’ is at the moment of interaction an identifiable, a shifting and an unsettled
presence amidst other shifting and unsettled human beings. The ‘I’ “… is only the
ultimate effect we can recognize, but the differences are due to the gestures of these
countless individuals actually changing the situation in which they find themselves,
although the specific changes are too minute for us to identify.” (Mead, 1934: 203).
Reflexive efforts may help to identify some changes, or more specifically: reflexivity
may clarify how I acted in the actual situation, given the potential presence of many
taken for granted assumptions. The concept of intersectionality from auto-ethnographic
origin appears to be a useful perspective on this plurality as it implies “…
exploring how multiple aspects of identities simultaneously are manifested within
interactions with others.” (Boylorn and Orbe, 2014b: 18). Intersectionality emphasizes
that social interactions are no one-to-one interactions of all assumptions, but are
interactions in which a multitude but selection of assumptions of the persons involved
are present at the same time. At the end who we are, the ‘I’ “… comes into the level of
our experience only in the completion of the act.” (Mead, 1934: 203).
A reflexive reconstruction of my acting: retaking the narratives
Looking back to how I worked – how I completed my acts - and why, is self-revealing
because I experience how what I did and do is an alternating mixture of different
standpoints - a fuzzy cocktail - in different situations with different people. I experience
the bleeding borders of my identity (Alexander, 2014) through which my supposedly
strong opinions, convictions and responsibilities take shape in the acting of
the moment. For every narrative I will make a connection with my taken for granted
assumptions as described in chapter 3. To call my taken for granted assumptions to
mind I briefly recapitulate them.
Reflexively (chapter 3) I observe myself as a bunch of different and inconsistent assumptions.
My managerial assumptions regard notions about emancipation-oriented
involvement and genuine participation of members of staff (e.g. co-creation), about an
instrumental approach of including other members of staff (e.g. wisdom of the crowd),
and about being oriented on efficiency and effectiveness. Regarding my competences I
notice managerial competences of coordinating and leading, and a reflexive orientation
on my work. I am apprehensive for what happens in social interactions and ‘suffer’
from some sort of oversensitivity for what happens. I assume that somehow this
‘made’ me an observant and participant of the interactions.
Identity-management
In the narrative about identity-management I see this bunch of different and inconsistent
assumptions back. Taking my responsibility for managing the project in a proper,
consensus-oriented way and aiming at practical results, in the discussions I also
emphasized the differences between management and members of staff, in such a
way that these differences were acknowledged in the evaluation. Politically I forestal-
7. <strong>Rumbling</strong> on performativity: a reflexive perspective on advisory work | 177