Beelzebubs-Tales-to-His-Grandson-by-G-I-Gurdjieff

"And, as I noticed during my stay there, the means of tickling which neverfail to act on the psyche of these unfortunate favorites of yours are thefollowing:"Suppose that one of these representatives of art has a face like a crocodile,be sure to tell him that he is the living picture of a bird of paradise."If one of them is as stupid as a cork, say that he has the mind ofPythagoras."If he has behaved in a certain matter like a 'super-idiot,' tell him that eventhat cunning fellow Lucifer could not have handled it better."Suppose that from his appearance you see signs that he has severalterrestrial diseases from which he is rotting day by day, then, with anexpression of astonishment on your face, ask him:" 'Do, tell me please, what is your secret for always looking so fresh, like"peaches and cream," ' and so on. Only remember one thing . . . never tell thetruth."Although you have to behave like this toward all the beings of that planet,it is indispensable toward the representatives of all the branches ofcontemporary art.Having finished speaking, Ahoon, smirking like a suburban matchmaker at thewedding of a client, or the proprietress of a Paris fashion house seated in an'ultra-chic café,' began rearranging the curls of his tail.Hassein looked at him with his usual smile full of sincere gratitude and said:"Many thanks to you, dear Ahoon, both for your advice and for yourclarification of certain details of the strange psyche of the three-brained beingson that thoroughly ill-treated planet of our Great Universe.And then turning to Beelzebub he addressed him in the following words"Please, kind Grandfather, tell me. Is it really possible that