the-daily-trading-coach-101-lessons-for-becoming-your-own-trading-psychologist-brett-steenbarger-_2009_-a23

Change 17it particularly deep and slow—and fixing your attention on something thatcaptures your attention: music, imagery, or a picture in front of you. If youslow your body and take your attention away from the situations that maybe elevating your emotional temperature, you shift your state and make iteasier to act calmly, in a planned fashion. With practice, this can be accomplishedin a matter of minutes, short-circuiting many disruptive patternsbefore they lead to poor trading decisions.The key is to keep yourself aware of your emotional state throughoutthe day. The thermometers are an easy, visually arresting way of becomingyour own observer—and coach.COACHINGCUECheck out the insights about breathing in Chapter 9. Mike Bellafiore of SMBCapital explains how he and partner Steve Spencer teach the traders at theirprop firm how to breathe as part of training them to trade. As practitioners ofmeditative disciplines understand, emotional self-control begins with physicalcontrol.LESSON 6: FIND THE RIGHT MIRRORSA mirror is an object that shows us our own image. Thanks to mirrors,we know what we look like. Far more goes into our self-image, however,than our physical reflection. That is because virtually all of our experienceserves as a psychological mirror. We see ourselves reflected in the impactswe have upon the world around us. As a result, much of self-esteem—oursense of worth and competence—follows from finding the right mirrorsin life.Let’s start with romantic relationships. When we select the right partner,we choose someone who knows and values the person we are. Thatlove and support is ongoing; consistently reflected to us, it is a deepaffirmation of self. In a similar fashion, parents constantly mirror a child’sidentity: “You’re such a good boy!” and “What a smart girl!” Our self-talk isborn of just such early life conversations: we internalize the voices fromsignificant relationships.This is why abusive relationships are so damaging. To share life witha spouse who attacks or demeans us—or who just doesn’t care—or to endureparents who are neglectful is to continually face a distorting mirror.Over time, children absorb the distorted images and no longer feel lovable,secure, and important. Out of such twisted self-images, they select futurepartners that validate their identities, sadly finding others who repeat the