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Answering Those Difficult Questions
Dear Auntie Em: My 5-year-old
daughter asked, “Mom, what’s
a pimp?” I nearly choked on
my bowl of pho! When I asked
her where she heard that
word, she told me that Jamie,
one of the boys in her class,
used it in a poem on the playground.
I stuttered, “It’s a man
who is not very nice…and we
would never say it out loud.”
-Where Do I Start?
Dear WDIS:
It’s not unlikely that young
children have at least one
classmate who is allowed to
listen to music, watch movies
or play video games that are
not age-appropriate. (Might he
have he been rhyming something
about the Pimp My Ride
TV show?) Or perhaps there’s
a child whose conversation or
knowledge about sex or other
sensitive subjects seems way
beyond his years.
This is a common concern
for parents. On one hand,
we can be amazed at how
much kids know—at how
adult they seem to be. On the
other hand, it’s sad because
sometimes they get too much
information before they’re
ready to process it. While you
try hard to create an age-appropriate
environment for your
kids, you can’t be with them
24/7. Recognize that children
are curious about adult things,
forbidden things. If we don’t
talk to our kids about what’s
on their minds, someone else
will and we run the risk that
they will be misled.
Posing a question in
response to the question was
a good idea. Sometimes kids
are seeking answers, but they
may also be seeking reassurance.
Asking, “Where did
you hear that?” is good, but
enquiring, “Why do you ask?”
is more specific. This question
promotes the sharing of
information that helps you to
understand why they want to
know and to better prepare
your answer.
A good example comes
from a doctor friend. Her
6-year-old daughter asked,
“Where do I come from?” My
friend went into a complicated
explanation but her daughter
interrupted and added,
“Because Lu Li comes from
China, and Sarah comes from
Canada…”
Don’t stonewall by saying,
“I’ll tell you about that when
you’re ready.” Do your best to
answer the question. Resist
the urge to rush to judgment:
“Jamie has no business talking
about those things and you
certainly shouldn’t be repeating
them.” If children ask a
question—no matter how
taken aback you are—they
deserve an honest answer.
Email your questions about
early childhood development
to auntie-em@asialifehcmc.
com.
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