Myra-Breckinridge-Gore-Vidal

Mary-Ann, she'll tell you I did. I really am trying." He seemedgenuinely hurt that I had not recognized his effort. I wassomewhat kinder in my manner, sharp but in the Eve Ardenway. "I'm sure you have tried. But you need specialattention and I think I can give it. I'll expect you at theinfirmary at ten o'clock tonight." "The infirmary?" He lookedalmost as puzzled as James Craig in the sixth reel ofKismet. "I've arranged everything with Uncle Buck. Heagrees with me that you need extra help." "But what kind ofhelp?" He was still puzzled but, as yet, unsuspicious. "You'llsee." I started to go. He stopped me. "Look, I've got a datewith Mary-Ann for dinner." "Postpone it. You see her everynight after dinner anyway." "Well, yes. But we were invitedsome place at ten." "Then go at eleven. I'm sorry. But this ismore important than your social life. Alter all, you want to bea star, don't you?" That was always the clincher in dealingwith any of the students. They have been conditioned fromchildhood in the knowledge that to achieve stardom theymight be called upon to do anything, and of course theywould do anything because stardom is everything andworth any humiliation or anguish. So the saints must havefelt in the days of Christendom, as they burned to death withtheir eyes on heaven where the true stars shine. I spent allafternoon making my preparations. I have the entireprocedure worked out to the last detail. When I havefinished, I shall have achieved in life every dream and 29 Imust write it all down now. Exactly as it happened. While itis fresh in my memory. But my hand trembles. Why? TwiceI've dropped the yellow ballpoint pen. Now I sit at the