Myra-Breckinridge-Gore-Vidal

Flagler Junior to return from their telephoning in the nextoffice. I have made up my mind to continue teaching here, ifBuck will have me... which I doubt. Yet I must make theeffort to charm him, if it is not too late, for not only am I ableto observe and learn from the students but they in turn profitfrom me. Without the Academy, I would have to invent anequivalent, a place in which to shape the minds of theyoung, particularly the boys who crave discipline. Yet, oddlyenough, since that night of nights in the infirmary all mydesires to dominate the male have been--if not satisfied--inabeyance, a true breakthrough, according to Randolph,though he still believes that I went too far and may havedamaged Rusty's capacity to love women, to which Iresponded, "That is exactly what I wanted to do, to teachhim fear." "But why? Why not teach him love?" There aretimes when Randolph is singularly dense. "Because onlythrough a traumatic shock, through terrifying and humiliatinghim, could I hope to change his view of what is propermasculine behavior. To keep him from breeding, and soadding to the world's overpopulation, I was forced to violateeverything he has been taught to regard as sacred,including the sanctity of his tiny back door.... Randolphlooked suddenly queasy. "Please, Myra, you know how anyexplicit reference to the anal upsets me. The fault is mine,or weakness I should say," he added quickly, anticipatingone of my sharp rejoinders. "But tell me, is there anyevidence that your tormenting of him has had any effect atall, good or bad?" "He quarreled with Mary-Ann..." "Apassing fit of ill-temper... "Not passing. He's left her for