Myra-Breckinridge-Gore-Vidal

evenge." "Or Buck Loner's. He would do anything toremove me from the Academy. Even murder." Yet as I gavevoice to my suspicions I cannot, in my heart of hearts, reallybelieve that anyone in his right mind could wish to removeme from a world so desperately in need of me. I prefer tohave faith in my fellowman. I must even have a certaintenderness for him if I am to change, through example aswell as teaching, his attitude toward sex. There was a timein our evolution when hate alone was motor to our deeds.But that age is ending, for I mean to bring to the world loveof the sort that I have learned from Mary-Ann, a love which,despite its intensity, is mere prelude to something elseagain, to a new dimension which I alone am able toperceive, if dimly. Once I have formulated it, the truemission will begin. But for now I must be cryptic and declarethat nothing is what it seems and what nothing seems isfalse. "I would suspect Rusty more than Buck," saidRandolph, plunging his thick paws into the huge get-wellbasket of fruit sent me "with love" from Uncle Buck andBobbie Dean Loner. Randolph crushed a peach againsthis jaws. I looked away. "The motive in the case of Rusty ismore profound psychologically." Randolph's teeth struck thepeach's pit with a grating sound that sent shivers along myspine. "Well, it's done and past. And I'm willing to forgivewhoever it was." "Are you really?" Randolph soundedsurprised, not prepared for the new me. "Of course.Suffering ennobles, doesn't it?" I had no desire to confide inRandolph, particularly now when I am assembling anentirely new personality with which to take the world by