Community Life Magazine - Bedford Issue 1

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PEOPLE TAKING THE CURVES Life is a journey, and the life stages and circumstances are similar for most people – starting out, making partnerships, careers, children, juggling demands, hitting unexpected obstacles, all these can be seen as curves in the road. So what makes some marriages and partnerships last a lifetime while others skid on the fi rst curve? No two relationships are the same, but there seem to be the same fi ve characteristics in most successful relationships. Be realistic. It’s tricky out there and things won’t always go smoothly. Marriage is not a fairytale ending. People cannot be perfect but they can try and accept their partners’ failings – obviously within reason. Relationships need compromise Don’t take each other for granted. Over time, roles, responsibilities and expectations become fi xed in relationships. Over time, these will need to be reviewed and renegotiated depending on the new life stage and the current challenges and responsibilities. Communication is vital, but simply talking isn’t the answer. Th e important thing about communicating is the interaction between talking, really listening and trying to understand. It is about having emotional intelligence, the ability to empathise and be honest and fair with each other. Putting words into actions. Turn discussion into actions – the actions may not be huge but they do need to happen. Do not over promise and underperform – on the other hand do show commitment to really making change. Negotiate and be prepared to compromise. Managing Confl ict. Research into successful relationships indicates that managing confl ict is the real crunch point and seems to have the most signifi cant eff ect on relationships. Confl ict is inevitable but it is how it is resolved that makes relationships work. Some people squabble, others argue and some walk away. Th e overall goal of addressing the issue isn’t about who wins, it’s about resolving the situation. Valdation. Putting the other person down and being over controlling won’t help, nor will dragging up past issues. Stick with the present and try to focus on the resolution.Th e most important thing is that each recognises, even in confl ict, the other person’s point of view. Most people want to be in a loving, supportive, adaptive relationship for the long haul but the journey can be over some tricky terrain, so keep an eye out for the next curve in the road. Can we help? 01234 356350 www.relatebedsandluton.org.uk to fi nd out more appointments@relatebedsandluton.org.uk 24 Please mention Community Life when responding to adverts
We Supply, Fit & Clean All Types of Carpets For more info contact: MATTHEW JAMES 07787 912745 matthewjames1@live.co.uk To advertise please call 01234 310521 or email: teresa@communitylifemag.co.uk 15% OFF YOUR TOTAL FOOD BILL (VALID MON-FRI, LUNCHTIME & EVENINGS) OPENING HOURS: 12-2pm, 6pm-10pm Mon- Sat Sundays - Closed Offer Valid until 30/09/12 Please call 01234 364430 www.riobello.co.uk 25
Page 1 and 2: Issue: 01 - September 2012 ...it’
Page 3 and 4: Editor Teresa Brooks T: 01234 31052
Page 5 and 6: Breast of Health is a charity based
Page 7 and 8: To advertise please call 01234 3105
Page 9 and 10: A lifeline for Lynne Lynne and her
Page 11 and 12: Skin Types ... what is yours? Follo
Page 13 and 14: Assistant Chief Constable Andrew Ri
Page 15 and 16: A fabulous treatment before a night
Page 17 and 18: With 12 staff members and over 75 v
Page 19 and 20: Sitting down can damage your health
Page 21 and 22: THE BEDFORD OUSE VALLEY STROKE CLUB
Page 23: A DAY IN THE LIFE ... Home-Start ar
Page 27 and 28: To advertise please call 01234 3105
Page 29 and 30: Tim Layman/rspb-images.com Take Me
Page 31 and 32: Mini Ads & Services Is your child s

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