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get you laid?"<br />
"Well I go to these meetings, and they all have kids, and I don't have anything<br />
to talk to them about, so I start telling them about my two kids..."<br />
"Which you don't have."<br />
"Right."<br />
"But you need."<br />
"Right."<br />
"Do you know who Clucky the Chicken is, Jack?"<br />
"Well, no, I can't say as I do actually."<br />
"Clucky the Chicken is this jackass who dresses up in a chicken suit and<br />
plays children's songs on his guitar."<br />
"Well, that sounds nice enough."<br />
"Try listening to those songs on repeat for 12 hours a day, over and over<br />
and over, while you're trying to get in a nap before you have to go work nights<br />
at the Scrub n' Rub and all you want to do smash the god damned tape player<br />
but you've got to keep it together because your deadbeat ex-husband is too<br />
busy getting drunk and getting covered in whore glitter at the strip club and<br />
all the time that jackass in the chicken suit is singing about those fucking<br />
puppies in the god dammed golden rainbow meadow!"<br />
"So... I can't rent your kids?"<br />
"If you can put up with Clucky the Chicken, you can keep 'em."<br />
"All right! I'll call you Thursday."<br />
Bradley Bosma 77