''Abe'' Lincoln's Yarns and Stories - University of Macau Library

Yarns and Stories, by Alexander K. McClure 376His streaming tears told how much he was moved."Come," said Mr. Lincoln, "wait a bit and I'll tell you a story;" and then hetold the old man General Fisk's story about the swearing driver, as follows:"The general had begun his military life as a colonel, and when he raisedhis regiment in Missouri he proposed to his men that he should do all theswearing of the regiment. They assented; and for months no instance wasknown of the violation of the promise."The colonel had a teamster named John Todd, who, as roads were notalways the best, had some difficulty in commanding his temper and histongue."John happened to be driving a mule team through a series of mudholes alittle worse than usual, when, unable to restrain himself any longer, he burstforth into a volley of energetic oaths."The colonel took notice of the offense and brought John to account."'John,' said he, 'didn't you promise to let me do all the swearing of theregiment?'"'Yes, I did, colonel,' he replied, 'but the fact was, the swearing had to bedone then or not at all, and you weren't there to do it.'"As he told the story the old man forgot his boy, and both the President andhis listener had a hearty laugh together at its conclusion.Then he wrote a few words which the old man read, and in which he foundnew occasion for tears; but the tears were tears of joy, for the words savedthe life of his son.LINCOLN PRONOUNCED THIS STORY FUNNY.