Her Umbrella Premiere Issue Fall 2015

approval, and I like to feel like I can control situations around me).
These personality styles can control the way you think. My mind is my worst enemy. For example, the
perfectionist in me wants everything in the house in order at all times. It also wants me to look put together at all
times, which is something that I have learned to handle a little better. My need for approval is always high. I am not
sure that will ever really calm down. I want my husband to be happy with me. I want my family and my friends to be
happy and accepting of who I am. When people don't like me, it is very difficult for me to get past. The need for me to
be in control is also very high. It's not so much that I need or want to be in control of people, but more the situations
that surround me. I couldn't control the harassing messages being sent to my Facebook and my Twitter accounts. I can't
control if it is going to rain while we are out at Disney. I can't control how much my husband has to work. I can't control
whether or not my hair decides to cooperate everyday. Some of these are serious examples and some are more serious.
My stress level is usually found hand-in-hand with these things.
There are a lot of coping mechanisms to try when you have anxiety. The first one that we tried was a mood
chart. This one didn't help me at all. The last thing I want to do when I feel like I can't breathe, is sit down and write out
all the emotions I am feeling. I tried to write them afterwards, too, but by the time it was all said and done, I just felt
kind of ridiculous about any of the attacks. Some things that did work for me were heavy breathing, imagery and
tracing figure 8's. I have also written letters to people who have caused stressful situations, just to get all the words out
and then thrown it away. I deal with a lot of self-blame and negative self-talk, so when I am feeling overwhelmed, I
typically will lay down and weigh out the situation. Affirmations are important as well. Make sure you are doing your
best to be positive about yourself.
I was put on medication around this time, as well. Medication was something that I wanted to avoid, but because
of the stress from the harassment and because we were planning our wedding within two months, it was decided that
it would be a good tool to get through. I was put on Celexa, which is used for depression as welll. I'll be honest and say
that it helped me, but at the same time it didn't. It would block out some stress, but oftentimes I would still have
attacks. I didn't hyperventilate while on it, but my chest would tighten.
I started tapering off Celexa this past May which was the hardest part. The side effects were difficult to deal
with. You never know for sure what your body is going to do. My doctor didn't talk me through the side effects, so I had
no idea why I was feeling so strange. The side effects depend on the medication. There was a moment where I found
myself questioning why I decided to even come off it. It felt too hard and I was worried that I couldn't do it. I pushed
through those emotions and almost two months later, I am so glad that I did!
Anxiety isn't something that goes away. It's something that you have to deal with on a daily basis. Some days
are really, really great, while other days can be terrible. Sometimes I am really good at applying my tools and coping
mechanisms and other days I am not.
Having a strong support system is very important. I would be completely lost without my husband. Keep in mind
though, that anxiety, no matter how severe, is emotionally tolling on your loved ones as well. Remember that the
people who love you are always there to listen and support you, but sometimes they need time for themselves as well.
No matter what you're facing, know that you are capable of overcoming the obstacles thrown at you. Don't give
up! There are always people who care, sometimes you just have to seek them out. Ultimately, you need to take the
steps to become healthier for you. Mental health is extremely important. Don't ever be ashamed to ask for help. Don't
worry about what people will think if you go to a counselor or decide to take medications. There is nothing shameful
about it.
Premier Issue Fall 2015 / Her Umbrella 51