NEXUS ISSUE 22 2014

nexus magazine
D’you want a career
with that?
ONYX LILY
How to translate your fancy piece of paper into a job that doesn't involve
a deep fryer... hopefully.
We all know one of them. Those smug gits who
cruise through their uni studies with minimal effort
and maximum beer, crowing “Cs get degrees baby!”
whenever their attitude is questioned. And they’re right
– all you have to do to get an undergraduate degree is
pass. But the good news for those of us who grit our
teeth and head back to the library for the fourth Friday
night in a row (until it closes at freakin 6pm anyway) is
that Cs may get degrees, but unless you fancy a job
a lot of people do very badly. If you can write well, in
general people are more likely to give you what you
want, because they can figure out what the hell you
want. There are a bunch of writing papers you can
take at Uni, like MCOM292 Business Communication
(most faculties have one), plus about a million online
resources you can use to improve your grammar, sentence
construction, and spelling, (as well as millions
of online commenters ready to mock you if you do it
“CS MAY GET DEGREES, BUT UNLESS YOU FANCY A JOB THAT INVOLVES ASKING
PEOPLE WHETHER THEY’D LIKE FRIES WITH THAT, CS AREN’T GOING TO GET YOU A
FANCY CAREER.”
that involves asking people whether they’d like fries
with that, Cs aren’t going to get you a fancy career. The
bad news is, a transcript of A’s might not either.
Employers these days are looking for a bit more from
a prospective employee, especially one straight out of
tertiary education, than just a handful of grades on a
transcript. So if you want to find work you love, and
hopefully make enough dosh to pay back your student
loan before you retire, here are some things you might
like to consider.
Communication skills. Pretty much every study of
the employment market concludes that the number
one thing employers are looking for is the ability to
communicate clearly and effectively. Written communication
is particularly important and is something that
wrong) so no excuses! Or you could just listen to Weird
Al Yankovich’s “Word Crimes” on repeat until it burns
itself into your skull.
Work experience. Going out into the cold, unfriendly
job market with nothing but a page full of qualifications
and a dream in your shiny little eyes is likely going
to win you nothing but a pile of rejection letters with
which to kindle your shopping cart fire. OK, that’s a
little bleak, but basically, without some kind of employment
experience it’s going to be hard to convince a
graduate employer to take you on. Any kind of work
experience helps, whether you’ve done your time
in retail during Uni holidays, can shake the meanest
mojito this side of the Bombays, or spent your summer
wrestling little Von Trapp children into their curtain-suits
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