NEXUS ISSUE 22 2014

nexus magazine
OFFENSE - IN A
ROUNDIE-BOUT
KINDA WAY
Give a Shit Tee Ship
Here’s the thing, at some point we’re going to have to grow the fuck up as a society.
This year’s “RoUndie 500” hosted by the lovely (and not in any way, shape or form inbred,
redneck or hickish) folks at Canterbury University, and successor to the throne of douchebaggery
held for years by the infamous “Undie 500”—a student car rally in which teams
decorate their vehicles in a theme of their choice and just drive… for an extended period
of time—has been responsible for exposing the inherent racism, misogyny and ignorance
that plagues New Zealand society, lurking behind the every pithy “I’m not racist but…” and
that old proverb “I’m just saying that if you move to somebody else’s country at least learn
the language.”
During this rally hosted by ESOC (the Engineering Society of Canterbury, whom it is
rumoured receive more funding every year than other UoC clubs), the predominantly white
contestants (this may not necessarily be the case but Jesus ESOC, if you want to come
across multi-cultural, post some pictures with a little goddamn diversity in them) were
encouraged to decorate their vehicles in the most offensive way possible, with cash prizes
for the most offensive.
One of the teams, that I really want us to get behind next year as a nation, was the ‘Gaza
Strippers.’ These rambunctious young tykes took it upon themselves to paint their van with
the Palestinian flag and dress as strippers in turbans and burqas. I can only assume that
they also stripped down at some point because… without that the ingenious punchline is
just lost… Of course this is mimicking this year’s hilarious Gaza Strip conflict in which 2,104
Palestinians were killed between the 8th of July and the 27th of August, 1,462 of these being
civilians, 495 of which were children, murderous murderous children...
Oh and then hahahaha, get this, and then some super radical brothers, and I mean that in
the whitest way possible, dressed as chicks, and decorated their car with some like porn and
shit and like totally named their team FemSoc after the University’s newly formed feminist
club. Now that’s funny as shit, stupid femmy bitches will love that aye? Fuck women’s rights
right?
No, not fuck women’s rights, don’t make fun of the Gaza crisis, don’t take the piss about
the Taliban beheading people, don’t dress your car up as Malaysian Airline’s flight MH370 and
then have a bunch of dudes dressed as Saudis lean up against it for a photo (certainly don’t
dress the drivers as Saudis because if that is the case then I literally have missed the point
of the joke…) This is not shit that doesn’t offend people, and the sooner we stop encouraging
shit like this, especially in places like Universities, the sooner our society can grow into
something that is accepting of different cultures instead of fucked in the head.
LOVELY LASHES
Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady
Thicker lashes! Bold Lashes! Long’n ‘lush! Hypercurl! Sound familiar?
The many promises of the seemingly endless varieties of mascara
you can find on the market. While mascara is great you can use these
simple tips to create long lovely lashes.
1. Invest in a lash curler – Create a beautiful upward curl by using
a gentle pumping motion at the base of the lash line to create an
upward curl that will open up your eye.
2. Comb between coats of mascara to avoid clumping and “spider
lashes” Apply your coat, wait a few seconds and then comb through,
apply another coat of mascara.
3. Brush translucent powder between coats of mascara to create
thicker, longer lashes.
4. Condition your lashes to keep them at their best – Coconut oil and
Almond oil have been said to promote healthy, strong lash growth.
sweetpaintedladynz.com
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