NEXUS ISSUE 22 2014

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nexus magazine EDITOR RACHAEL ELLIOTT EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ DESIGN HAYLIE GRAY CONTENTS MANAGING EDITOR JAMES RAFFAN CONTRIBUTORS SPORTS GUY DR RICHARD SWAINSON HP BEATS BY J PETER DORNAUF AUNTY SLUT MELISA MARTIN ALIX HIGBY JESSICA WILSON AMBER CARDALE KARL GUETHERT LOUISE HUTT SWEET PAINTED LADY LAURENCE MCLEAN MATT HICKS CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER JULES CRAFT SARA LEMME DARCIE TEE SHIP ONYX LILY TIM ELPHICK ZAC LYON COVER ARTWORK MARY FABER TYPOGRAPHER, WELLINGTON WWW.MASHSTUDIO.CO.NZ FACEBOOK.COM/MASHSTUDIO PHOTOGRAPHY LOUISE HUTT JOHNNY RYAN BECKI MOSS ANDRE KONG — _03 Editorial _04 Lettuce to the Editor _05 News _08 News from the University _09 Sport _10 Ridiculist & Vox Pops _11 Reviews _14 Honest Matt _15 Horoscopes & Playlist _16 Auteur _17 Arts and Stuff _18 C.V. Tips _22 The BA Guide: What to do When You've Got Bugger All _26 D'you want a career with that? ADVERTISING ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ OFFICES GROUND FLOOR STUDENT UNION BUILDING GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON ONLINE NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ FACEBOOK.COM/NEXUSNZ @NEXUSMAG SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE _29 Columns _38 Blind Date _39 Advice _41 Recipe _42 Puzzles 2 nexusmag.co.nz
nexus magazine PHOTOGRAPH: JOHNNY RYAN EDITORIAL RACHAEL ELLIOTT — Here are the pros and Cons of various part-time jobs you don’t want to turn into a career, tried and tested by yours truly. Lolly Girl at the Dairy Pros- This was actually a pretty sweet gig, if your definition of ‘sweet gig’ is, I occasionally got to eat 5c lollies without my boss knowing. Cons- one really huge arm from rolling 800 ice creams a day in summer, and standing there listening to EVERY five year old child in town say “I’ll have 5c of gummy bears and uhhhmmm….. 5c of….” Let’s just say, the instinctual urge to kill small children on sight stays with me to this day. Cow Milker Pros- Um… the majestic sight of the mist rising off the paddocks in the morning? Cons- Watching the mist rise off the paddocks knowing that it’s -4 degrees and you’re going to be very cold very soon. Also covered in shit. Pretty much all over. Probably piss too. And there’s always the possibility you’ll get kicked in the head. Did I mention the 4am start time? Goat Milker Pros- Goats are cleaner than cows (dry pellets instead of sloppy pats) so if they shit on you it bounces off. Cons- They smell like old piss and dirty socks. They chew everything, including your hair if you’re not careful. They have sharp demon hooves to stomp you when you’re not looking and they’re very clever escape artists. It’s as if they’re TRYING to get you fired. Foal Watch Pros- Watch the horses and help them have babies! Cute baby horses! Cons- Standing in the rain and mud for 6pm to 6am shifts. Getting absolutely covered in placenta. Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, it goes in your mouth! Also, some of these horses are worth millions of dollars. The first foal I helped deliver was insured for $1.6million before it even stood up. That’s a lot of pressure at 4am. Then there’s knowing the cute baby horses are probably going to be physically fucked up and put down before they’ve even finished growing, because money. Bartending on a charter ferry Pros- There was this one time I saw dolphins and it was magical. Cons- People vomit on boats without getting drunk. Drunk people vomit a lot. The combination can be truly fucking spectacular. On a rough day you have to be kind to all the people vomiting, and you must not vomit yourself. If you vomit, the masses will lose all hope and you’ll have mutiny on your hands- and mutiny never ends well. There is also the possibility you’ll lose half your hand in a rope accident (not me, a friend) or an unexpected wave will unbalance you as you try to tie the boat up and you will fall into the water, convinced you’re about to be crushed between the ferry and the wharf. Nexus Editor Pros- Getting (sort of) paid to write things, laugh at people’s poor grammar/spelling and then fixing it, working with awesome people, scoring review tickets to rad gigs and getting to give people free stuff. Cons- Wait, I DO want to turn this one into a career. There are no cons! #pleasehireme 3
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Page 6 and 7: nexus magazine LETTUCE Cupcake Disa
Page 8 and 9: nexus magazine "OBVIOUSLY, A LOT OF
Page 10 and 11: nexus magazine NEWS FROM THE UNIVER
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Page 14 and 15: nexus magazine FVEY ALBUM REVIEW BY
Page 16 and 17: nexus magazine HØNEST MATT MEETS T
Page 18 and 19: nexus magazine AUTEUR HOUSE PRESENT
Page 20 and 21: nexus magazine C.V. Tips LOUISE HUT
Page 22 and 23: nexus magazine Has a space for clie
Page 24 and 25: PHOTOGRAPH: BECKI MOSS
Page 26 and 27: nexus magazine “sit down. Be quie
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Page 31 and 32: nexus magazine ROCK THAT THREESOME
Page 33 and 34: nexus magazine TRIP TIP: GET INTO I
Page 35 and 36: nexus magazine LONDON FASHION WEEK
Page 37 and 38: nexus magazine HOBART, TASMANIA Ove
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Page 41 and 42: nexus magazine SO, DON’T GET OUT
Page 43 and 44: nexus magazine BEEF NOODLE STIR FRY
Page 45 and 46: nexus magazine Target How many four

NEXUS ISSUE 22 2014

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